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Have you ever experienced anything that felt ideal? Can you describe an ideal day, job, partner, meal, vacation, or child? Is your "happiness" often shaped by comparing aspects of your life with such ideal concepts? Separately, where would you rank yourself on the imaginary line between "very pessimistic" (expecting gloomy, painful outcomes) and "very optimistic" (expecting good outcomes despite gloomy condit-ions)? Do you know anyone who seems unrealistically optimistic about life, despite setbacks, unknowns, and disappointments? People who seem overly idealistic and/or optimistic may be strongly influenced by one or two diligent personality subselves who specialize in these attitudes. Their self-appointed personality roles are usually to protect several Inner Kids from major fear, overwhelm, despair, and loss by preaching rosy forecasts. The Idealist / Optimist also serves to counterbalance overactive Cynic / Doubter, Catastrphizer, and/or Worrier subselves. A well-meaning Magician subself may team up with the Idealist / Optimist to make unattainable ideals seem realistic or feasible. Significantly- wounded people can become obsessed with one or more ideals, to distract from inner pain. If the ideal is a moral "cause," (e.g. abortion, conservation, spiritual warfare), the Idealist may evolve into a passionate Fanatic. Before true (vs. pseudo) recovery from false-self dominance, all these Guardian subselves distrust or ignore the true Self to keep everyone safe and comfortable enough. As recovery progresses (Project 1), personality subselves like these learn to trust the wise leadership and reliability of the Self (capital "S") and other Regular sub-selves, a nurturing Higher Power, and selected healthy people to keep the younger subselves safe and comfortable enough. As the Guardians relax, excessive idealism and optimism (or pessimism) shift toward realistic visions and expectations, and inner peace notably increases. more detail / slides / Project 1 index and guidebook / Q&A / close |
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