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Have you ever experienced anything that felt ideal? Is your "happiness" often shaped by comparing aspects of your life with such ideal concepts? Where would you rank yourself between "very pessimistic" (expecting gloomy, painful outcomes) and "very optimistic" (expecting good outcomes despite gloomy conditions)? Do you know anyone who seems unrealistically optimistic about life, despite setbacks, unknowns, and disappointments? People who seem overly idealistic and/or optimistic may be strongly influen-ced by one or two personality subselves who specialize in these attitudes. Their roles are usually to protect several Inner Kids from major fear, overwhelm, des-pair, and loss by preaching rosy forecasts. The Idealist / Optimist also serves to counterbalance overactive Cynic / Doubter, Catastrphizer, and/or Worrier sub-selves. A well-meaning Magician subself may team up with the Idealist / Optimist to make unattainable ideals seem realistic or feasible. Significantly- wounded people can become obsessed with one or more ideals, to distract from inner pain. If the ideal is a moral "cause," (e.g. abortion, conser-vation, spiritual warfare), the Idealist may evolve into a passionate Fanatic. Be-fore true (vs. pseudo) recovery from false-self dominance, all these Guardian sub-selves distrust the true Self to keep everyone safe and comfortable enough. As recovery progresses (Project 1), personality subselves like these learn to trust the wise leadership and reliability of the Self (capital "S") and other Mana-ger subselves, a nurturing Higher Power, and selected healthy people to keep the younger subselves safe and comfortable enough. As the Guardians relax, exces-sive idealism and optimism (or pessimism) shift toward realistic visions and ex-pectations, and inner peace notably increases. more detail / slides / Lesson 1 index and guidebook / Q&A / close |
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