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From infancy, every healthy person evolves beliefs about what is right and wrong. At first, we copy our caregivers' and hero/ine's beliefs. As we mature, we form our own right/wrong beliefs to guide our behaviors and judge other people's "character" and actions. Most kids develop a personality subself whose talent and job is to col-lect and maintain right/wrong beliefs ("rules"). This Manager subself may be called the "Moralizer." It may become rigid, righteous, and "preachy." The Inner Critic, Judge, Perfectionist, and other subselves use these rules to shape our perceptions and choices. When subselves dis-agree over right/wrong opinions, we feel confused, torn, and ambivalent. If some subselves don't trust the leadership of the resident true Self, they may mis-apply or distort the Moralizer's right/wrong rules and cause significant upset to Guilty and Shamed inner children. The Self may in-terpret and/or adjust the rules to manage confusing situations. Lesson 1 here offers an effective way to (a) reduce false-self wounds, (b) get the Moralizer / Preacher to replace harmful right/wrong rules with new beliefs like these, and to (c) moderate the way the Critic and Perfec-tionist subselves use the Moralizer's rules. |
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