About Requests vs. Demands

        A request is (a) asserting a need respectfully and (b) tolerating responses like "No," "Not now," "Maybe," and/or "I don't know." A demand is asserting disrespectfully and/or not tolerating any of these responses. Demands usually im-ply or describe consequences, and may imply "My needs are more important than yours right now (I'm 1-up). This can cause hurt, resentment, anger, antagonism, and/or anxiety, which all block effective communication.

        Some threats can feel like demands with vague or im-plied painful consequences. Demands imply the speaker is unaware or overwhelmed, not able to problem-solve, and may be ruled by a false self. For more perspective and op-tions, read about effective assertion. //  video