Lesson 1 of 7  - free your true Self to guide you

Assessment

 Has the [Wounds + Unawareness] Cycle Affected You and Your Family?

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

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The Web address of this article is https://sfhelp.org/gwc/assess.htm

Updated 02-03-15

      Clicking underlined links here will open a new window. Other links will open  an informational popup, so please turn off your browser's popup blocker or allow popups from this nonprofit Web site. If your playback device doesn't support Javascript, the popups may not display. Follow underlined links after finishing this article to avoid getting lost.

      This is one of a  series of articles on Lesson 1 in this self-improvement Web site - free your true Self to guide you and reduce significant psychological wounds.

      This brief YouTube video previews key ideas in this article. The video mentions eight lessons in this Web site - I've reduced that to seven.

      This article assumes you're familiar with...

      This article outlines how to gauge how much inherited psychological wounds and unawareness have affected you and your family  After 36 years as a family-systems therapist, I estimate that the high majority of average adults are significantly affected (wounded and ignorant), and they don't (want to) know that or what it means. Normal protective reactions to this are minimizing, intellectualizing, rationalizing, distracting, numbing, avoiding. and denying. 

Assessment Questions

      If you accept the idea that most personal and social problems are caused by inherited wounds and unawareness, you'll encounter questions like those below. Links in each question will take you to an article or worksheet which will help you answer it from 1 to 5 (low to high). If you're not sure, circle "?"

      Print this article and use the table below to create a "cycle-assessment" profile. The rest of the article outlines "profile-scoring" and next steps, based on your profile results.

       To see the big picture, include you, your childhood and present families, and your parents' ancestors in this [wounds + unawareness] assessment.

      Expect filling out this profile to take several weeks. The more time and patience you invest in filling it out, the more you'll get from it. Consider keeping a log or journal about your thoughts and awarenesses a you assess each of the questions below.

      You'll get the most accurate answers to your questions if you choose an undistracted time and place, and your true Self guides you. When that's true, you'll feel some mix of emotions like these: alive, alert, centered, energized, focused, calm, purposeful, strong, "up," grounded, confident, competent, compassionate, patient, interested, aware, and "light."

Psychological-wound Assessment Questions
  How wounded and unaware were my biological  ancestors?

1  2  3  4  5  ?

  How wounded was each adult who raised me in my first 5-6 years?

Adult 1 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Adult 2 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Adult 3 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Adult 4 

1  2  3  4  5  ?
  How functional was my childhood family (family of origin)? For more perspective, also see this

1  2  3  4  5  ?

  Am I a Grown Wounded Child? (Was I significantly neglected, abandoned, and/or abused as a young child)?

1  2  3  4  5  ?

  If so, which psychological wounds are most affecting my life?

False-self dominance (a disabled true Self). This causes each of these other wounds:

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Excessive shame and/or guilts

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Excessive fears

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Excessive reality distortions

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Excessive trust or distrust

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Difficulty feeling, bonding, and empathizing

1  2  3  4  5  ?

  Is my current partner (if any) and/or is any ex mate a Grown Wounded Child?

1  2  3  4  5  ?

  How functional is my current family? For more perspective, see this,

1  2  3  4  5  ?

  How wounded are my children and any grandkids?

Child 1 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Child 2 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Child 3 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

Child 4 

1  2  3  4  5  ?
Unawareness-assessment Questions

      Me (also use thus linked article to assess each adult below)

1  2  3  4  5  ?

      Parent 1 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

      Parent 2 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

      Other adult 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

      Other adult 

1  2  3  4  5  ?

      When you finish, pause, breathe, and take stock: what  are you ware of now? What did you just learn? If completing this cycle-impact profile has changed any of your beliefs, attitudes, or priorities, what's different now? What do these changes mean to you and the people you care about?

colorbutton.gif Evaluate Your Profile

      First, assess whether your true Self guided you through completing this cycle-impact profile. If not, your answers may be skewed by a protective false self who minimized, idealized, catastrophized, "forgot," and/or denied your reality. To guard against such distortions, consider asking someone you trust who knows your family well to review your profile answers. The most objective feedback will come from non-relatives who are guided by their true Self.

      If you haven't online studied Lesson 1 yet, know that Part  2 there gives you a structured way to thoroly assess someone for significant psychological wounds.

      There is no research-based "scoring" for this profile. Your answers to each question above must be subjective  The overarching questions you can now answer are:

  • "How much has the [wounds + unawareness] cycle affected my family?" (little impact to massive impact)

  • "Am I a Grown Wounded Child (GWC)?  (yes or no),

  • "How wounded am I?" (a little > moderately > very);

  • "Which of the six wounds do I have?"

  • "How often am I guided by my true Self? (seldom > fairly often > most of the time)?"; and...

  • "What do I need to do now for me and any dependent kids in my life?"

colorbutton.gif What Now? Action Options

      If you feel you're significantly wounded, then decide how important wound-reduction is among your present responsibilities and priorities. If you want to forge a significantly better life and protect existing and future kids,

  • adopt a multi-decade point of view, and...

  • give high priority to studying the wound-reduction steps in Lesson 1, Part 3

Note the guidebook "Who's REALLY Running Your Life?" which contains most of the Lesson-1 Web materials.. unaware,

      If you're a parent and/or you feel you're significantly unaware, make this exercise a habit, and commit to patiently studying and applying Lessons 2 thru 6 or 7 (in order) over time. Option - as you do, use these quizzes and Q&A articles periodically to validate your new learnings. 

      If one or more key adults in your life are Grown Wounded Children (like your mate, an ex, a parent, grandparent, sibling or other relative, or a close friend or coworker), then study Lesson-1, Part 4 to learn useful options.

Recap

      From 36 years' research and clinical experience, I propose that millions of typical families (like yours?) are stressed by a lethal [wounds + unawareness] cycle silently passing down the generations. This article uses the ideas in Lesson 1, Part 1 to help you answer vital questions like these when your true Self guides you:

  • How wounded and unaware were my biological ancestors?

  • How wounded was each adult who raised me in my first 5-6 years?

  • How functional was my childhood family (family of origin)?

  • Am I a Grown Wounded Child (GWC)? If so, which psychological wounds are most affecting my life?

  • Is my current partner (if any) and/or is any ex mate a GWC?

  • How functional is my current family?

  • How wounded are my children and any grandkids?

  • How unaware am I and other key adults in my life?

The article closes with action-options to fit your answers to these questions.

      Pause, breathe, and recall why you read this assessment article. Did you get what you needed? If so, what do you need now? If not - what do you need? Is there anyone you want to discuss these ideas with? Who's answering these questions - your wise resident true Self, or ''someone else''?  

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