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This article is one of a series on
professional counseling, coaching, and therapy with (a) low-nurturance
(dysfunctional) families and with (b) typical
and trauma. These articles for
professionals are under construction.
This series assumes you're familiar with:
Before continuing, pause and reflect - why are you reading this article?
What do you
+ + +
article is one of a series on effective clinical interventions with
low-nurturance family clients. A "low nurturance family" is one in which members
seldom get their
met in wholistically-healthy ways. An
effective intervention is an instinctive or intentional behavior of the
clinician which significantly raises the family's nurturance level in the
opinion of all involved. The interventions summarized here are general,
common, and usually are a series of related sub-interventions. Each clinician
will evolve a personal style about designing and delivering such strategic
behaviors. Over time, many become habitual, and require no conscious thought.
the most from this article, first read:
Project 6 Exists
this introduction to professional family
clinicians and educators,
this slide presentation on the
[wounds + unawareness] cycle
that is a root stressor with typical low-nurturance families (best viewed
with Internet Explorer or Netscape browsers)..
this overview of the clinical model on which
these articles are based;
this summary of
for effective professional service with these clients;
scan these terms which are liberally used
throughout these clinical articles;
this overview of effective clinical assessment
client families; and these basic Project-6
this introduction to effective interventions with
low-nurturance families and traumatized persons reducing significant psychological
Premises: see how you feel about these proposals - with your own family in
Families exist to fill the short and long-term
of their members
and (at least) local society.
Average family adults inherit a lethal [wounds + unawareness] cycle from
their ancestors and society.
Children who don't get their needs met adequately are at risk of developing
serious false-self (psychological) wounds - and spread the cycle without
Most major social and ecological problems are promoted by low-nurturance
families + social unawareness of five major family hazards + social and
legislative indifference to family nurturance levels and unwise child
child caregivers have an innate responsibility to (a) know these things
well, and (b) to work together to reduce them in their families and
take the "purpose" of their family for granted, and live day to day with only
hazy goals for filling members' primary needs over the years. This risks not filling the long-range needs of their family members as well as they
might. A classic example: few parents consciously aim to teach their kids
effective-communication, problem-solving, and healthy-grieving basics and skills by the time they
leave home. Do you agree?
Typical stepfamilies are much more complex than intact biofamilies, and
have a significantly different set of additional developmental tasks to
master over the years as they merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies
- with no experience, and little informed guidance.
Just as any responsible captain and pilot would not leave home port without
charts, navigational aids, and a clear destination in mind, stepfamily
co-parents need specific long-term goals and a "navigation plan" to reach them.
Otherwise they risk the fate described wryly by David Campbell in his helpful
career-planning book - "If You Dont Know Where You Want To Go,
Youll Probably End Up Somewhere Else."
The high rate of American stepfamily re/divorce (many say it's over 60%)
suggests most co-parents fail to take this (and the other 11 Projects) seriously
Project 6 is about adults evolving a meaningful long-term family mission
statement, based on the challenging array of goals outlined in these 12
co-parental Projects. That gives them the best odds of avoiding these five major
hazards and growing a high-nurturance family over the years..
Useful Project-6 Interventions - specially for courting and newly
re/married or committed stepfamily clients. You may have already made some of
these interventions for other Projects. For useful process
assessments and related interventions, follow the
1) Review the [wounds +
(Lesson 1), and ask if the co-parents think it's significantly
affecting their family
2) Ask "What's the long-term
purpose of your family?"
3) Option - ask "When
you're old, what do you want to have accomplished with your family?"
4) Review the concepts of
needs and family nurturance levels;
Review typical minor kids' developmental and family
Review typical primary-relationship needs
Ask "What's the purpose of your family?"