Seven self-improvement Lessons to protect your family

Why this Web site exists,
What's in it, and
 How to benefit from It

 
By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/site/intro.htm

        Links below will open new windows or informative popups, so please turn off your browser's popup blocker or accept popups from this nonprofit, ad-free Web site. If your browser doesn't support Javascript, the popups may not display.

        This ad-free, educational Web site is for people who take their lives seriously - specially those caring for minor kids (or planning to). A quick test to determine if you are such a person - have you identified your life-purpose yet, or are you seriously seeking it? If "not yet," this self-improvement course may be of little use to you now. Either way, invest one minute in the inspirational video "The Dash" - it's about you and your life.

        This brief YouTube will preview what you'll read here:

        This educational Web site exists to alert you to a widespread toxic personal and family stressor - [psychological wounds + unawareness] that silently passes down down our generations and is weakening our culture. This inheritance promotes social problems like abuse, neglect, divorce, crime, abortions, addictions, bigotry, "mental illness," runaways, terrorism, gangs, homelessness, obesity, depression, suicide, bankruptcy, and murder. Have any of these affected your family? 

         Based on 32 years' clinical experience and study, the site offers you a modular 7-Lesson self-improvement course (below) on how to understand and break the cycle and reduce major personal, marital, and family problems. Average mature "well-educated" adults are unaware of the cycle and its toxic effects. Are you aware of them?

  What Does "Break the Cycle" Mean?

        The "cycle" is this: psychologically-wounded, unaware parents raise wounded, unaware kids. They  grow up, choose wounded, unaware partners, and raise wounded, unaware kids - who repeat and spread the cycle and its effects in our society. For more detail, read this after you finish here.

        To break this cycle, adults must commit to...

  • learning about and accepting the cycle, starting with their own family tree;

  • assessing, admitting, and reducing their psychological wounds; 

  • learning the basics in this modular course - alone or with others;

  • choosing a wholistically-healthy, informed partner; and they must want to...

  • patiently evolve a high-nurturance family together over many years, despite many obstacles, to raise "Grown Nurtured Children" (GNCs) - i.e. kids who...

    • are steadily guided by their true Selves in all situations; and...

    • know how to communicate and grieve effectively; and how to make healthy relationship, conception, and parenting choices.

        In my experience as a professional family-systems therapist since 1981 - most average American adults have inherited the cycle and it's effects and are unconsciously passing them on. They (you?) are Grown Wounded Children (GWCs) - and they don't (want to) know that or what it means

        I strongly suspect that adults in most or all other cultures inherit and pass on the cycle also. Since I can't speak with authority about other cultures, I refer to "Americans" in these articles and videos.

        Notice your reaction to what you just read - curiosity? Cynicism? Indifference? Confusion? Could the cycle be affecting you and your family members? If so - who should stop that?

  What's in this Site?

        Seven sequential self-improvement Lessons for all adults and older teens:

1)  Assess for psychological wounds and reduce any you find (free your wise resident true Self to guide you)

2)  Learn effective thinking and communicating skills

3)  An overview of losses (broken bonds) and healthy three-level grief

4)  How to optimize your relationships

5)  How to evolve a satisfying high-nurturance family

6)  How to parent (nurture) kids and teens effectively

7)  How to evolve a high-nurturance stepfamily

        Each lesson begins and ends with a quiz on that topic to help you see what you know and what you need to learn. There are NO ads in this non-profit, non-denominational site  For more detail on these Lessons, see this course outline after you finish here.

        Three guidebooks are available in print and e-book format, covering Lessons 1, 2, and most of Lesson 7. These Web pages can be cited, printed, and distributed with appropriate credits if you don't wish to profit from them. 

        This site also includes...

        Over 150 YouTube video clips to preview and outline key articles and concepts

        A glossary of the terms used here

Selected resources, including research summaries that support the premises in this site;

Articles for mental-health professionals and counselors (under construction), and...

        A feedback form for your comments and suggestions.
 

  Suggestions on Using This Course

  • Make freeing your true Self (Lesson 1) your highest ongoing priority. That will maximize your return for investing time and energy in this unique self-improvement course.

  • Keep a long-range perspective (e.g. the rest of your life) and the open mind of a student. Many ideas here will differ from what you've been taught.

  • Do not expect these ideas and tools to resolve any crises immediately - take your time!.

  • Avoid using these ideas as absolutes. Sense the themes underlying them, and adapt them to fit your unique personality, style, experience, and circumstances.

  • Keep these ageless guidelines in mind as you grow and heal.

  • To benefit from this course.....

    • complete each study guide at your own pace. The 7 Lessons are sequential and build on each other, so study them in order. Treat this learning as you would a sequence of college courses. The more you learn, the more all topics will make integrated sense to you. As you study...

    • apply your learnings to any significant personal and family problems, starting with freeing your true Self and improving your communication effectiveness.

  • Identify any specific questions you seek to answer here. Option: keep a log or journal of your questions, thoughts, awarenesses, and feelings, as you explore this site and its guidebooks.  

  • These articles are designed to be viewed the Internet Explorer browser. They require your browser to support Javascript, in order to see the informational popups in each article

  • Please use this feedback form to tell me your needs, reactions, and suggestions as you learn. If you find the site useful, please let others know about the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and sfhelp.org.

  Recap

        This introduction describes the purposes of this nonprofit Web site, Seven self-improvement lessons designed to help you beak the lethal [wounds + unawareness] cycle, and how to get the most from this online course. 

NEXT - If you're ready to improve your life, health, and relationships, start studying Lesson 1 (free your true Self) and Lesson 2 (learn effective thinking and communication skills). To overview the content of all 7 sequential Lessons, see this outline.

 Please help me improve this site. Invest 30 seconds to tell me who you are, and why you're here. No private info about you is recorded, and no ads will pop up. Thank you!

        Pause, breathe, and reflect - why did you read this article? Did you get what you needed? If not, what do you need? Who's answering these questions - your true Self, or someone else?

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Updated  May 18, 2012