Lesson 1 of 7  - free your true Self to guide you

Are You Wholistically Healthy?

Perspective and a Checklist

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council


  The Web address of this article is https://sfhelp.org/gwc/wholistic.htm

Updated  02-04-2015

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      This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 1 in this nonprofit Web site - free your true Self to guide you in calm and conflictual times, and reduce significant psychological wounds.

      Premise - any person or family can be judged to be somewhere between "wholistically healthy" (fully functional) and "wholistically unhealthy" (dysfunctional). Wholistic (usually spelled holistic) means (mental + spiritual + emotional + physical). Health means "Functioning and growing at natural human potential." Judging this is subjective.

      This Web site also ranks relationships and families as ranging between low-nurturance and high-nurturance. High nurturance means "consistently filling all family members' current and long-term primary needs well enough."

      This article offers (a) brief perspective on wholistic health, and (b) a checklist of wholistic-health traits. Use the checklist to estimate whether you or someone else is usually guided by your true Self or not. Use these related Lesson-1 checklists to sharpen your estimate. 

      This article assumes you're familiar with...

color button.gif Premises

      See if you agree with these ides: adults raising minor kids share responsibility for...

  • filling their and their dependent kids' developmental and family-adjustment needs well enough, and for...

  • motivating each other family member - specially minor kids - to assume responsibility for filling their own needs as an adult.

  • The functionality of any family or other group is directly proportional to the wholistic health of its leader/s - which depends on how often their true Self guides their dynamic other subselves.

  • People guided by their true Self will have more traits of wholistic health (below) than people often  controlled by a false self.

If this is true, then adults working to reduce psychological wounds (Lesson 1) will significantly improve their home's and family's wholistic health and nurturance level over time.

      For sobering perspective, see these recent research summaries about epidemic self-neglect among Americans, and the toxic effects of growing up in "risky" (low nurturance) families. An implication is that typical Americans aren't very interested in personal or family wholistic health. That implies typical Americans are ruled by false selves.

      A common sign of psychological wounds is reality distortion, including denial. Many wounded people agree that striving for wholistic health is important, yet they deny, minimize, joke about, or justify living unhealthy lifestyles. Does that describe you?

      Can you think of a wholistically-healthy ("well balanced") person? What criteria do you use to judge that? Is one "their true Self usually guides them in calm and conflictual situations"? Would people who know you well describe you as "wholistically healthy?

      Use this worksheet to evaluate your current wholistic health and (b) the odds you're psychologically wounded. This is one several checklists to help you assess the latter accurately. You can also use this to asses the health or woundedness of another adult. 

Symptoms of Wholistic Health

      See how many of these you can honestly check as "true" now. Listen to what your subselves say (your self-talk) as you mull these statements. This checklist is illustrative and random, not comprehensive or prioritized.

__  1)  I usually get enough (strength / aerobic) physical exercise now.

__  2)  I sleep long enough and soundly enough, most nights.

__  3)  I eat a diet that's well-balanced in nutrition, frequency, and quantity.

__  4)  I weigh what I should for my height and body type.

__  5)  I relax often enough, without significant guilt or anxiety.

__  6)  I usually enjoy the work I do and the people I work with.

__  7)  I'm consistently motivated to get regular physical, eye, and dental checkups.

__  8)  I'm usually comfortable with my balance between working, resting, and playing.

__  9)  I don’t need to rely on chemicals (including nicotine and excessive fat, sugar, caffeine, and prescription drugs), a compulsive activity, and/or another person to maintain my daily tranquility and security.

__  10)  I feel clear on my current life priorities,  and I usually live according to them.

__  11)  I'm clear on the difference between my surface needs and primary needs; and I can usually discern between them to help problem-solve effectively.

__  12)  I regularly choose to spend periods meditating, praying, journaling, worshiping, and/or reflecting; without feeling significant guilty or anxiety about doing so.

__  13)  I often feel peaceful and serene, (vs. numb) despite upsets, doubts, and conflicts.

__  14)  I _ know what my specific personal gifts (talents) and limits are, and _ I'm clear on what my life’s mission is - or I'm getting clearer on my main life-purpose, over time.

__  15)  I have one or more hobbies that I enjoy regularly, alone or with others.

      Recall - these are common traits of wholistic health and true-Self guidance.

__  16)  I feel comfortable with my recent balance of focusing time and energy on the past, the present, and the future.

__  17)  I feel confidant I can grieve key losses (broken psychological/spiritual bonds) healthily and completely now, or I'm learning how to that effectively now.

__  18)  I have an unwavering spiritual faith in an accessible, nourishing (vs. shaming) Higher Power; and regularly devote time to nurturing and being nurtured by that relationship.

__  19)  I have several true friends that I trust and enjoy spending time with.

__  20)  I belly-laugh frequently, during an average week.

__  21)  I seldom feel significantly ashamed, guilty, fearful, enraged, depressed, panicked, or confused.

__  22)  I can usually name what I’m feeling, and I frequently know why.

__  23)  I know when I need help, and I can usually ask for it and accept it.

__  24)  I'm _ very clear on my personal rights as a dignified, unique person, and I _ assert them effectively when I need to.

__  25)  I firmly feel that I'm a worthwhile, valuable person, and that my needs, feelings, thoughts, and dreams are just as legitimate as every other person’s.

__  26) I _ know how to assert my needs and ideas clearly and confidently, and I _ have an effective way of handling other people’s reactions (e.g. disagreement) to that;

__  27)  I know how to do win-win problem-solving with other people, and steadily invite other people to do it with me.

__  28)  I can quote the Serenity Prayer (or equivalent), and use it when appropriate.

__  29)  I can clearly tell when my true Self is guiding me.

__  30)  Most mornings, I wake up refreshed and eager for the day.

__  31)  I do not depend on medication (including food) for my sleep, digestion, or serenity.

__  32)  I'm comfortable enough with intimacy, sensuality, and my sexuality; and I enjoy these gifts without major guilt, anxiety, or obsession.

__  33)  I enjoy my current life well enough: there is nothing major I wish to change now.

__  34)

__  35)

      I _ took my time with this checklist, and _ feel pleased, calm, and satisfied enough as I finish it. _ There is nothing here that I’d feel uncomfortable sharing with important others. True  /  False  /  Unsure




      This brief perspective on personal wholistic health and the related checklist provide a way of assessing whether someone has significant psychologically wounds, or is usually guided by their true Self. See Lesson 1 here for an effective way to reduce such wounds.

Learn something about yourself with this 1-question anonymous poll.

      Pause, breathe, and recall why you read this article. Did you get what you needed? If so, what do you need now? If not - what do you need? Is there anyone you want to discuss these ideas with? Who's answering these questions - your wise true Self, or ''someone else''?  

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