Overview of "parts work"

Parts-work-techniques: Rescuing steps, continued from p. 4   .


Rescuing:
3)  Build a Safe Haven in the Present

      Before rescuing any lost subselves, evolve a peaceful inner "place" that feels safe and comfortable to all your subselves. Imagine this place as clearly as you can. Describe it out loud or on paper, and/or draw or paint it. It may be an actual place or you may enjoy creating it. Let your imagination soar!

      One client experienced a strong feeling of peace and safety on an imaginary tropical beach by a la-goon. Another vividly pictured a snug mountain cabin in a forest clearing. Another found that her parts felt best gathered together around a beautiful crystal rock. Later this later became a pure, warming fire. Some people find that their parts naturally want to live in their current physical home - or in a comfortable imaginary addition to it.

      Furnish your Special Place with anything you want: a fountain, music, a fireplace, comfortable places to rest, cushions, games, soft lights, windows or skylights, food, sacred items, a garden, beautiful views,...

      Option: browse magazines and Web sites for ideas and inspiration. If you have developed artistic subselves, sketch, model, or paint your haven. When it feels right, invite your known subselves to congregate there. Let your Place evolve and stabilize with their input.

      There is no right or wrong way to design or choose a safe haven. As you envision yours, notice with affection if some inner voices insist "This is really stupid!" (diligent Inner Critic) and "What if other people knew you were daydreaming about this junk?"

      If some subselves feel ambivalent about trying this rescuing work, affirm that this is your Life, not someone elseís. Imagine how some scared, lonely, sad Inner Child might feel, experiencing a home and a family that is truly welcoming, nurturing, and safe for the first time in their lives. Ask the hesitant parts to trust you, and try this safe experience and see what happens.

      Do you have anything to risk or lose by trying this? If so - who believes that?

Rescuing: 4)  Consider a Re-doing

      Each rescue is unique. Satisfying outcomes depend on all subselves involved feeling safe enough before and during the process. Keep in mind that parts living in the past really donít know about your current world, and will probably doubt or reject any description of it. If theyíre endlessly recycling one or more old traumas, you may have to re-do (p. 4) one or more scenarios first to free them to migrate to the present.

      A veteran parts-work client Iíll call Sylvia became aware of an inner child about five years old who was stuck on a vacation lake beach, watching helplessly as her drunken father tried to drown her mother. She (the young subself) relived the terror of that moment over and over. This incident had actually occurred to Sylvia as a girl 26 years ago. To begin rescuing her little one, Sylvia planned a re-doing, and "went inside."

      She (her Self) took her no-nonsense Adult part (a Manager subself), her present (large!) man-friend, a Guardian Angel part, and me back to the vividly-remembered beach. Her assertive, confidant Adult Woman subself took charge of re-doing the incident, stopping the fatherís assault, bringing the mother (and father) safely to the beach, and calming the panicked five year old. The rest of us were backup.

      Later, Sylvia brought her little one ("Nina") to her present-day home to meet and join her previously- unknown companion parts. The little girl was dumbfounded at first, and then (temporarily) overwhelmed with relief and wonder. The recurring memories of the trauma and associated feelings faded away.

Rescuing: 5)  Brief All Subselves and Rescue the Lost Part

      At each rescue step along the way, keep all subselves informed of what you're doing, and why. Pay attention to any suggestions or anxieties they have. If your circumstances warrant, call one or more inner councils (p. 6) to plan or discuss a rescue. Recall: your Self or a trusted delegate is in charge of such councils and every rescue.

      Imagine what it would feel like if you were small, alone, scared, ashamed, lonely, and hopeless. A gentle, kindly adult appears "out of nowhere" and says "Come with me now to a wonderful place where youíll always feel safe and loved and comfortable." Would you do it?

      Often it can reassure distrusting subselves if you gently invite them to visit the present with you first - taking anything the want with them they need to link them with "home." After theyíve explored your safe haven, and perhaps met some of your other subselves, their anxieties will usually subside.

      Inner Kids may not understand the concept of "time" or "years." Before a rescue, it may help them realize whatís happening if you show them a calendar, and explain that each Earth trip around the sun is a "year." Be patient as they grapple with the concept of coming to live in a different time. One client found it helpful before a rescue to show his lost part the cemetery where his mother was presently buried. 

      He physically visited her grave. His young subself who lived in the past had been convinced that his mother was still alive and couldnít be abandoned. Frequently, exiled parts feel a strong sense of duty to younger siblings or infirm relatives who "live with them". They need to build trust that those dependent beings will be OK if they leave. Note that logic and common sense do not pertain here.

      Before migrating, ask your target subself whether s/he wants to say goodbye to anyone or anything in their present home-place. Patiently and respectfully help them to do that. See if s/he wants to bring anything special. Reassure the part that s/he can come back to visit any time s/he wants. Demonstrate that, if it helps to build the part's trust and courage.

      Treat each of these rescue steps as a valuable investment in a satisfying outcome, and take your time. Be alert for your Impatient One and your Achiever trying to rush the process.

      Some rescues are planned or spontaneous single events. Others unfold in stages. One sexually-abused clientís Inner Child revealed itself living under a bed in the womanís past. It had no body trunk - just arms, legs, and a head. The first rescue step was to find her body, and reunite it with her limbs and head. The next was to peek into the kitchen (of the house in the past), to see that her feared Grandmother wasnít there. 

      Next, my clientís Self took her young subself into the backyard garden, which had only been seen through the bedroom window before - never visited. Then her anxious part hesitantly agreed to try a "vacation trip" into the present.

      She toured the client's present home with wonder, met some other subselves (and a pet cat), and eventually agreed to come to live there. The whole multi-step rescue took several weeks (1-hour sessions each week, with solo work in between). Self-leadership, patience, faith, and optimism are keys.

      Rescues become easier with practice. My experience is that adults who were greatly traumatized as kids often have several parts living in the past. One such client courageously did more than a dozen rescues over time. Other people have one or several parts living in the traumatizing past.

      Iíve never experienced an lost subself that wasnít young (infant through teen). Kids' typical Guardians seem to know the past and the present, and move back and forth between them. Those that do need no rescuing.

      We just reviewed another powerful parts-work technique - rescuing, or time travel. Notice your self-talk now. Do your dominant subselves feel this technique is reasonable and useful? Are you motivated to try this powerful technique and benefit from it? If not - who is in the way, and what does s/he (or they) need?

Retraining Subselves

     Personality subselves are probably discrete regions of your brain. As such, they can acquire (learn), store, and process information. This means that subselves who are using outdated or inaccurate information to protect you can be "reprogrammed" - i.e. they can learn new information, and new ways to use it to perform their role effectively.

      A major part of parts work is educating (retraining) your Inner Kids - i.e. correcting old information and beliefs, and giving them new ideas and attitudes. A classic example is helping your Shamed Child replace the myth "I'm no good and unlovable!" with "I'm unique, valuable, and lovable, and always have been!"

      Retraining Guardian subselves is education and persuasion. For example: your Inner Critic exists to protect Inner Kids by ceaselessly reminding you of your failures and mistakes. By doing so, it tries t guard against you "getting a swelled head" and/or making further shameful[ mistakes.

      Retraining the Critic involves several steps

_  Identifying in advance what specific changes you want this subself to make. Then...;

_ befriending it and _ learning what it's trying to do, and _ which Inner Kids it's trying to protect;

_ If necessary, bringing it to live full-time in the present

_ working patiently to grow the Critic's trust in your true Self's wisdom, judgment, and ability to lead;

_  respectfully pointing out that the way this devoted subself has been trying to help unintentionally increases the burdens of the Shamed and Guilty Inner Kids;

_ inviting the Critic to protect the Inner Kids by:

_ changing its language (e.g. stop name-calling);

_  avoiding sarcasm and disparagement ("You're so stupid!");

_ offering positive suggestions and encouragement instead of scorn and blaming;

_ providing input once, instead of endlessly repeating; and...

_ leaving the true Self free to lead, vs. disabling it

 _  Following up, to reinforce and acknowledge these important changes.

_  Possibly revising this subself's title - e.g.. call it "My Consultant or Cheerleader," vs. "My Critic".

      These steps can be adapted to retrain any misguided or misinformed Guardian or Manager subself using internal dialogs with your Self.

Resolving Inner Conflicts

      "Thinking" can be viewed as various subselves expressing themselves ("talking") to each other. The ceaseless inner dialogs, arguments, and screaming matches going on in kids' and adults' heads is indisputable evidence that personality subselves' exist. Do you have these inner communications? For example, you think...

"I should go visit my brother in the hospital now!"

Another voice (subself) quickly says... 

"But I need to cut the lawn, balance my check-book, and I really want to watch the playoffs on TV. I donít have time today. Go see him later. He wonít really mind." 

Perhaps a third voice (subself) joins in: 

"You spineless, selfish wimp. Never can make your mind up, can you? Always thinking of yourself first. Itís a wonder your brother even speaks to you. Heís in pain, and you want to watch TV. Youíre a real scumbag, pal."

      Sound familiar? Whenís the last time you had an inner conflict like that? How often does that happen within you? When it does, how do you feel? Is there a pattern to the voices? Which voice (subself) usually prevails? Can you imagine finding a way to successfully mediate these hassles? To prevent them?

      If allowed to, your talented true Self can do so every time. Notice your first reaction (thoughts) to that idea. Does your Skeptic pipe up? What would your life be like if you could resolve many or most of these inner disputes effectively?

      Psychologist John Rowan summarizes common types of inner conflicts. See if you relate...

loving others vs. loving ourselves;

wanting change, vs. wanting the safety of no-change;

being practical, vs. serving high ideals;

being free and independent, vs. being close, intimate, and committed;

being reasoned, thoughtful and "sensible" vs. being impulsive, playful, and spontaneous;

being honest, vs. being safe;

Can you add to this list?

Internal Problem Solving

      Recall a time you and another person reached an acceptable compromise to a dispute together. How did you do that? Hereís an overview of the way Self-led compromise can work with battling subselves. If you know someone who is adept at mediating conflicted people, keep them in mind as a role model and mentor. Review how they behave, starting with their attitudes.

  • Authorize yourself (your Self) to take enough time to mediate, and find an undistracted place to do so.

  • Remind yourself that...

    • needs are emotional, physical, and spiritual discomforts;

    • "problems" and "conflicts" are unmet and clashing needs, and...

    • surface needs are usually symptoms of underlying primary needs, so...

    • ''problem-solving'' is seeking to fill everyone's primary needs well enough. 

  • Adopt the attitude that each of your subselves has equal dignity and legitimate needs, and deserves respectful attention. Recall: you have no intrinsically "bad" parts. They each want to protect you in some way.

  • Check to see that your Self is currently free to lead. If not, try the unblending technique (p. 4). As you do, be alert for a protective, distrustful Blocker, Numb-er, Saboteur, and/or a Scared Child.

  • Trust your (unblended) true Self to find a workable compromise to any inner hassle, given time and opportunity.

  • Identify the conflicted subselves. Tell them you (your Self) are there to help each of them get what they need safely, without taking sides. If things are too heated, ask the disputants to separate for now, and work with them one at a time.

      Ask each subself what s/he needs, specifically - and listen! Repeat back concisely, without judgment, questions, or comments, what you hear. Like people, excited, frustrated subselves will start to calm down when they feel someone accepts and respects them, and wants to hear them nonjudgmentally.

      Be alert for your subselves' primary needs "beneath" their stated (surface) needs.  Discern primary needs by asking something like "What do you feel will happen if you donít get (the surface need) filled right now?" The Pleaser subself above might say...

      "Well, thatís obvious. If you donít go see your brother, people will think youíre selfish and insensitive - specially Jackie. If youíre ever in the hospital, they wonít come to see you, and youíd be all alone. I donít want that to happen." 

      A Nurterer part might say "Youíd really feel good going to see him. You know how much it would mean to him. And you really do care about your brother..."

      Another (Achiever and/or Worrier) voice might add anxiously "But Iím afraid if you donít cut the grass this afternoon itíll get out of hand and take three times as long, later. And you know what happens when you put off balancing the checkbook - checks start to bounce, and you get in BIG trouble. So get going!"

      A fourth voice might belonging to a teenaged inner Competitor: "But you're always busy! Címon - relax and have a little fun for a change. Watch the game! Nedíll understand..."

  • Let your Self creatively seek a win-win compromise among all subselves involved after they've calmed down and described their concerns (needs). Here that might sound like:

"OK, how Ďbout this: The checkbook should only take about 10-15", so weíll do that now. Then Iíll go to the hospital for an hour or two. Maybe Ned and I can watch the game together there. Iíll get back here by four-ish, and at least get the front lawn mowed. Iíll do the back yard tomorrow after work, if I have to. Can you all live with that?"

      As your subselves experience the ability of your Self to learn and accept their current primary needs, and calmly balance them fairly with other partsí needs, their trust in your Self's leadership will rise. And as a bonus, as you develop this inner conflict-resolution process, youíll probably find yourself mediating conflicts with people around you (including kids) in the same effective win-win way.

      Pause, breathe, and reflect. Do you think these internal resolution steps will work for you? Are you willing to try them? If not, who (inside) is reluctant? What might get in your way?

Inner-conflict Resolution Tips

      Typical internal battles arenít as neat as the example above. Here are a few guidelines to help your Self mediate successfully:

Stay focused on the current conflict. Avoid getting snarled in other current or past disputes. One problem at a time!

Be alert for one or more conflicted subselves living in the past. They're apt to underestimate the wisdom of your Manager subselves, and have outdated fears and expectations. If time allows, defer compromising and bring any such parts into the present time (p. 4) first.

Stay clear on what aspects of the current situation you can affect and which you canít. If a subself fears global warming will kill you soon, respectfully acknowledge (a) that fear and the underlying wish to protect you; and that (b) thereís really nothing you can do about that, so you choose to worry about other current things you can affect.

Watch for a Catastrophizer subself creating exaggerated or future (vs. current) threats, and/or an artful Distracter. Stay focused on the present situation.

Avoid assuming past experiences are always valid guides for the present and future. Youíve never done parts work before, so inner (and outer) results may be different...

Avoid the black-and-white thinking that a diligent Controller subself may promote ("Do it! / Donít!"). There are usually several possible good-enough solutions to a conflict, not just two.

If one or more conflicted subselves are Inner Kids who canít understand or need to ignore realistic practicalities, consider having a nurturing or companion part stay with them for reassurance while you negotiate a win-win compromise. Your young parts need your Self to be a compassionate leader, not a buddy. Theyíll usually feel better knowing someoneís in charge of setting and following (enforcing) safe limits.

Consider agreeing on a signal that anxious or distrusting subselves can use to get your Selfís (or a delegateís) attention along the way. Examples: a facial tic or muscle twinge, a stiff neck, a tingling, a flush, a yawn, or other non-painful bodily reflex. Your subselves can communicate via (some) muscles and nerves!

When your Inner Kids are scared of an impending event, consider inviting them to "go play," or "stay home in your safe place" while your older, wiser subselves handle the real-world situation.

      Help your young parts trust without guilt that they donít have to handle outer (or inner) conflicts as you may have had to do as a real child. Their important job is to be curious, contribute their priceless energies and gifts, and to experience and learn, over time.

Learn the special strengths and abilities that each subself brings you - and use them! Delegate appropriate aspects of a current conflict solution to personality-parts with suitable skills and abilities, rather than feeling your Self has to "do it all." See "teamwork" below...

      As you experiment with this inner-resolution concept, develop what works. Seek  "good enough" compromises, and meeting each partís primary needs well-enough for now. Acknowledge your hard-working Perfectionist affectionately - and don't feel obliged to use her or his standards!

      Pause, stretch, and let go of these details. We just reviewed a practical framework for acknowledging conflicts among your subselves and finding win-win compromises with your Self as a skilled mediator. Do you feel you can make this scheme reduce stressful inner conflicts? You won't really know until you try it several times!

      The next technique is powerful and vital...

Negotiating New Subself Roles (Reassigning)

      A middle-aged client Iíll call Debbie discovered to her discomfort that several of her subselves caused intense feelings of insecurity and overt jealousy in her primary relationships. Even when her partner was consistently trustworthy, a part doubted and accused him of deceit. This corroded the relationship, promoting the very thing her Doubter feared. This pattern had happened with several men over some years, and Debbie felt frustrated and helpless to change it.

      One key element of the pattern turned out to be very young Inner Kids who carried Debbieís deep shame and abandonment fear. Over time, Debbie rescued (p. 4) her shamed child ("Gretchen"), and put her in the loving care of her Inner Nurturer ("Good Mom") and a tender Golden Angel part. As some healing months went by, Debbie began to feel better about herself. As this happened, the Guardian subself who had brought the feelings of jealousy interfered.

      Patient parts work disclosed that "Miss Jealousy" was really frightened that as Gretchen improved, she (the Guardian) was out of a job and would be abandoned.

      Learning this, Debbieís Self called an inner council meeting (p. 6). She appreciated the years of service that Miss Jealousy had put in protecting Gretchen, and affirmed Gretchenís healing progress. Debbie asked her team for suggestions as to how Miss Jealousyís energy could be redeployed. Some discussion evolved the consensus that the team needed someone to take charge of remembering important commitments.

      Miss Jealousy felt that was an important role, and enthusiastically agreed to shift her focus from protecting young Gretchen to acting as a staff consultant in charge of "responsible follow-throughs." Gretchen and Debbieís other subselves all felt comfortable-enough with - and even excited about - this internal role change.

      Some weeks later, Debbie reported that her feelings of relationship anxiety seemed less (not gone). She said that her partner had noticed, and was "relieved."

      This true story illustrates how subselves can shift their inner-family "job" (role), and redeploy their talents and energies to help all members prosper in the present. this can happen in one parts session, or may take longer.

      Reassigning is usually useful with Guardians whose related Inner Kids are rescued and become secure and contented in the present. It also helps with Inner Kids and even Manager subselves who no longer need to act protectively because of successful partsí integration and team-building.

      My Internal Family Systems (IFS) mentor Dick Schwartz said his decade of experience taught him that most Guardians were weary of their endless protective responsibilities, and despaired of ever putting them down. When Guardian subselves come to trust that the young parts theyíre protecting really are safe enough, theyíre often relieved and enthusiastic about using their talents in another way. My parts-work experience with many clients since 1992 has consistently validated this.

      The overarching target here is to selectively rebalance the roles of each talented subself of your inner team to promote group co-operation, harmony, wholistic health, and personal serenity.

      Another vital parts-work technique for raising inner harmony is learning to...

Accept and Include Your Disowned Parts

      Most (all?) of us have a few traits (subselves) weíve grown to fear, dislike, and feel ashamed of. A natural reaction is to deny, repress, scorn, or "banish" such parts, and/or judge them as "bad," "awful," "negative," or "disgusting" - as in "I hate my Procrastinator! David L. Weiner published an earnest book in 2000, proposing how to "Battle Your Inner Dummy" (reactive false self). He didn't know what you're reading here, and promoted inner combat, not harmony.

      In their useful book "Embracing Each Other," veteran psychologists Hal Stone and Sidra Winkleman Stone suggest such disowned parts inevitably cause powerful reactions in some of our relationships. The Stones feel that the people weíre most intensely repelled by and attracted to display traits (parts) similar to those weíre trying to disown ("opposites attract"). Such intense reactions often cause stressful or hurtful relationship dynamics.

      I agree with the Stonesí proposal that learning to accept and even welcome our "awful" subselves  into our inner team promotes wholistic health and harmony. Doing this reunites some of our energies, which have previously been split off. It takes constant life-energy to repress and deny a subself. Recovery mentor John Bradshaw likens this effort to trying to swim while holding a large beach ball under water. Accepting disowned subselves as part of your inner clan can free vital energy for filling other needs.

      A key corollary is that accepting such parts does not mean allowing them to strongly influence your decisions!

      Here are some options for reclaiming your valuable disowned subselves:

Identify Rejected Subselves

      Accept the reality that you may have disowned parts, and can learn to genuinely welcome them into your inner team. If you experience strong resistance to this idea, identify and learn about the Guardian part/s that "resist." Negotiate with them to at least allow you to explore and see what happens;

      Review the people in your life youíve had extreme feelings about - particularly fear, scorn, revulsion, disgust, dislike, and rage. See if thereís a common pattern to the qualities in those people that you react very strongly to.

      For example, most of us dislike habitual liars and people who are insincere and phony, egotistical and selfish, chronically insensitive, or stubbornly never admit mistakes (yes?). If you have a particularly strong judgmental reaction to such traits in such people, you may have a subself carrying that trait in your inner family that you donít want to acknowledge.

      For each such trait you identify: go inside, and invite the part that carries that characteristic in you to identify itself in some way. If "nothing happens," check to see if a Blocker or Saboteur doesn't trust this process and is trying to hinder it. If not, convene your inner council and ask them if they know of any hid-den part who carries the target quality.

      If they don't, then focus on your subselves who hold the strong feelings of disgust, disdain, or revulsion. Ask them where they learned to have such intense reactions, and why they have them. See if this leads to recalling a traumatic time when you - or someone or some thing you prized (like a pet) - were greatly hurt or scared somehow by a person with the target quality.

      If so, explore to see if you have an Inner Child related to that incident and is living in the past. If you do, stay alert that the Guardian with the strong "negative" feeling may be protecting that young one  against another (feared) part of you who hasnít "come out" yet. Explore this patiently and gently over time.

      For instance: one of my clients was abandoned by his mother, and severely shamed and neglected by her mother (his grandmother), with whom he lived as a child. He developed an intense dislike for, and rage at, "women who avoid commitment and responsibility."

      By middle age, he had never married or conceived a child, and often felt sad, angry, and lonely. With persistent, courageous inner work, he discovered a hidden (adolescent) part of himself who fiercely didnít want him to commit to anyone, for fear of agonizing re-abandonment. My clientís inner Critic was furious at this subself (i.e. frightened and deeply ashamed of it), and worked ceaselessly to "keep it down and out."

Include Your Disowned Parts

      If you locate a rejected part of your personality, what can you do?

Refresh your attitude: try out the belief that any subself can, with respectful encouragement over time, shift itís energy to new goals. Every subself is a potential asset, like a unique player on a championship athletic team!

As with any new part, meet and learn about your Disowned One. With time, develop a trusting relationship between it, your Self, and other subselves;

Identify each other subself that wants to reject the disowned one/s. Learn why they do without judgment, acknowledge their specific fears, and work patiently to reduce them over time.

      Reassure any anxious or distrusting inner members that youíll see to it that this new part wonít "take us over" or "get out of hand." Ask them to trust you (your Self), and then follow up. Take small, respectful steps, and safe-enough risks. Use listening, assertion, and problem-solving skills (see Lesson 2).

Evaluate compassionately whether the part is living in the past without knowing it. If so, rescue it (p. 4) safely when the time seems right.

Pay attention to the label or name you and other parts use to identify the disowned one. If their current name or title is derogatory, pick a more respectful or neutral label that fits. For example, if at first your disowned part is dubbed "the Slut" or "my Idiot," see if a name with-out negative associations would feel OK - like "Willow" or "Tex."

Work with the disowned part and your inner crew to see if job retraining (above) is feasible. If so, go to it! Recall: all parts mean well - and may be misinformed, frightened, or living distorted lives in a vanished traumatic time. All your subselves bring you energy and unique gifts. With steady appreciation, acceptance, and patience, any of them can be re-motivated and redirected in healthier, more productive ways.

If for some reason retraining isnít feasible now, remind everyone that the disowned one is only one part - not all of you. If you identify and reclaim a selfish, dishonest, or voyeuristic part, note that they alone donít determine who You "are" as a whole person.

Include your reclaimed subself in all inner-family councils (p. 6) and relevant decision-makings. Invite and consider their input - once integrated, they can contribute surprising things!

      For perspective, think about your best friends. Do they each have some less-than-thrilling qualities? You probably still accept and value them for the greater good they bring you. You can do the same with any disowned parts, and prize your inner family as much as your do your best friend - warts and all.

Spirituality and Parts Work 

      A high percentage of people I've done parts work with have acknowledged that they had a ''spiritual subself'' among their Managers. The general talent of this part is to act as a liaison between the person and their Higher Power / Higher Self / Soul / Creator / ____. For many people in recovery, this part manifests as a "still, small voice" offering wisdom and guidance in specially confusing and stressful times.

       Access this Spiritual subself like any other part of your personality: Get quiet and undistracted, and invite this part to give you an image, feeling, or "awareness" Some people sense "a presence." Others image something - a light, form, face, icon, an angel, a totem (special animal), or some sacred place or object.

      As you free your Self and team-build and , use your Spiritual part in ways like these:

  • When you feel blocked, confused, or conflicted, ask this part for inspiration and guidance. Praying with or to this subself can be helpful - specially if you're open to an inner response..

  • Consider introducing needy (scared / lost / abandoned / shamed / ...) Inner Children to your Spiritual part along with your Nurturer (Good Parent) and any other protective subselves. Doing so can help provide comfort and safety to selected (or all) Kids, and reassure their Guardian subselves.

  • Ask your Spiritual part to participate passively or actively as you meet with selected subselves. Suggest to weary Guardians they can call on this part any time for reassurance, inspiration, courage, and wisdom - with or without your Self's presence.

  • Invite your Spiritual subself to be present at any inner council meetings you convene. Be open to any guidance, inspiration, and wisdom that it may provide as you "conduct your business."

  • Fo0llow your own instincts as to how, when, and why to use the special talent this Manager subself brings your dynamic inner family.

      Option - if you're unsure whether you have a Spiritual subself, invite it to show itself to you in an inner dialog. Before you do, identify what specific questions you'd like to ask and discuss. Before you do, review the ideas in this article about spirituality and religion. Neale Walsh's books on "Conversations with God." are helpful resources.  

 Continued on p. 6