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address of this quiz is http://sfhelp.org/grief/quiz3.htm
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Lesson 3 in the Break the
Cycle! self-study course aims to educate readers to healthy
grieving ba-sics so they can spot and complete unfinished mourning of major
losses. Typical
of childhood trauma never
learned these basics, and risk psychological, physical, and relationship
problems from in-complete mourning.
This self-assessment quiz can help you decide if you and/or other people need to learn more about interpersonal bonds, losses (broken
bonds), and healthy grief. The quiz exists because
incomplete grief seems to be a significant stressor for many
people, relationships, and families. For perspective,
read this brief
news article on "complicated" (incomplete)
grief.
This quiz assumes you're familiar with...
-
the
intro to this nonprofit web site and the
premises underlying it
-
these five widespread personal
and family hazards
-
the [wounds + unawareness]
cycle,
-
self-study Lessons
and...
-
these Q&A items
on "good grief"
|
Prepare
To get the most
from this quiz, first...
Check to see if your
is
you now. If not, expect skewed results below.
Expect
to learn some useful things here;
Choose an undistracted place and time
to respond to the items below. You can't "fail" this quiz - just
learn from it!.
Print the quiz, and scan all the
items before responding. Follow any links after you finish,
to learn the answers.
Rate yourself. From 1 (very ineffective griever) to 10 (very effective
griever), how effective a griever are you? ____
We'll revisit this question after you finish the quiz...
"Good Grief" Quiz
1)
Five
related
that promote
widespread personal, marital, and family stress are:
2) What is human
attachment or
, and how does it
happen?
3)
What
can
the normal ability to form human bonds?
Blocked
have little reason to grieve,
and may appear to be
cold, distant, impersonal,
over-analytic, unfeeling, uncaring, detached,
and aloof.
Do you know anyone like that?
For extra credit -
do you know what this inability to bond is
called by
professionals?
4)
In
a healthy-grieving context,
what is a
5)
What's the important difference between a
change and a loss
?
6) Name
the two kinds of personal losses: ____________________ and
____________________ .
7) Name at least eight common
kinds of broken
psychological bonds (losses) other than death:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
8)
Describe
two ways
personal bonds get
broken.
9) What are the
of
wholistically-healthy grieving?
10)
What
are the specific
phases of each of
these three levels, and how can you tell when each stage
is “done”?
Level 1 phases:
____________________, ______________________, _____________________,
__________________________,
and ________________________.
Level 2 phases:
__________________, __________________, ___________________,
________________, and _________________;
Level 3 phases: __________________, ___________________,
___________________,
and _________________.
11)
for healthy three-level mourning are:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________,
and
__________________________________
12)
Describe
specifically what “incomplete
grief” is:
13)
Name
at least six
of
incomplete grief:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
14) Name
four or more typical personal consequences of
incomplete grief in a child or adult:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
15)
Describe
(a) what
to grieve means, and (b) how to tell if an adult or child really
has solid inner permission:
16)
Describe
(a)
what
to grieve means, and
(b) how to tell if an adult or child really
has solid outer permission:
17)
Describe
the difference between a
and anti-grief relationship or family:
18)
Name at least
three reasons
that adults and kids from
childhoods
may have trouble grieving losses effectively:
19)
How long does
effective grieving take?
20) Describe (a)
at least four things typical "losers" need from
their supporters, and (b) "effective grief support."
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
Effective
grief support is...
21)
Name at least
four specific things family adults can do to
finish incomplete grief:
22)
Describe
an effective personal and family
23) Say your
(a) personal and (b) family grieving
policies out loud now, and where
you learned them. "No policy" is a policy!
24) Compare your current grieving policies with the
personal policies of each of your
main childhood caregivers, and of the family you grew up in. Would you say
each of these early policies promoted or hindered effective grief?
25) Name the five
most impactful physical and invisible losses (broken bonds) in your life so far:
26) On a
scale of 1 (I've never grieved this loss) to 10 (I have fully accepted
and adapted to this loss), rate how well-grieved each of these losses is now.
If you're not in a
family
or
and don't expect to be, skip to
item
#30.
27)
Name at least six typical
physical and invisible
losses resulting from family
separation and/or divorce:
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
28)
Name at least six
typical
physical and
invisible
losses typical adults and kids commonly experience from
(a) stepfamily
re/marriage and (b) combining households (cohabiting):
__________________________________ _______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
__________________________________
______________________________________
29)
Name five or more
reasons that incomplete
grief in an adult or child causes major personal and relationship problems.
__ 30)
Describe
_ the difference between active grieving and
and _ how to react to each of
these
in _ myself and _ other
people I care about.
31)
On a scale
of 1 (very ineffective griever)
to 10 (very effective
griever), how effective a griever are you?
____. Would the people who know you best agree with your rating? Option:
rate the grieving effectiveness of each person you care deeply about.
32)
Is your
(capital "S")
to this quiz, or
is
Reflect - where are your thoughts now? What did you just learn? Does
"ignorance" (unawareness) as a major marital and family hazard now make more
sense to you?
Awarenesses...
Pause and reflect - what are you
aware of now? For perspective - since 1981, I've met very few peo-ple who could answer most of these
questions accurately. Option: think of the adults you know best - do
you think they could answer most of these quiz items? Would they be
interested in trying to do so? If not, they're at risk of the toxic effects
of incomplete grief.
Premise - our ancestors and
current society have generally ignored or minimized the importance of
loss-impacts and
healthy grieving. If you agree, consider these
options for raising others'
awareness of this vital life and relationship skill - starting in your home and family...
|
The
good news: with your wise, resident true Self guiding you and patient study and reflection,
you can learn the
answers to all of these quiz items and enhance your ability to do
good grief. Doing
this is vital for high family nurturance, personal
health, and healthy relationship
bonding!
|
Is there someone else you'd like to discuss this quiz and related info with?
If so, is anything in the way of your doing so now?
Continue
studying this vital
Pause, breathe, and recall why you took this quiz on healthy-grief basics. Did you get what you
needed? If not - what
you need?
Who's answering these questions - your wise, resident
or
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