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This is one of a
series of
articles in Lesson 2 - learn communication basics and seven
powerful
to get more daily needs met more often. Progress with this
depends on simultaneous progress on Lesson 1 - empower your resident
true Self to guide your personality in calm and conflictual times.
This worksheet provides a way to inventory
someone's communication strengths.
A related work-sheet can help you identify behaviors that block effective communication.
This article assumes you're familiar with...
Perspective
Anything one person does that significantly affects another person
mentally, emotionally, physi-cally, and/or spiritually is
"communication." Communicating is the main
skill all living things rely on to fill their daily and special needs.
Thinking is communication among the
subselves that comprise normal
Ignorance of (a) subself dynamics
and (b) effective thinking and communicating (Lesson 2) is one
of three main reasons for most marital, parental, and social problems. The
other reasons are
and significant psychological
Starting in infancy, we grow an array of personal traits and abilities that
hinder or help us to com-municate
(reduce our current discomforts) in calm and stressful
times. The traits that help us are strengths. Any motivated
person
by their
(Lesson 1) can improve their strengths, and enjoy satisfying communication
outcomes internally and socially.
Print and use this worksheet to clarify your awareness of…
-
How you rate as a
communicator with one or more key people, and…
-
Your existing
communication strengths (and opportunities to grow others)
Think of one or more people whom
you rate as excellent communicators, and identify why you judge them
to excel. Then try saying your present
communication strengths out loud now. Then compare them with what you
discover below.
For "extra credit," honestly
rate
your general effectiveness as a communicator from one (I'm very ineffective)
to ten (I'm consistent very effective) ___. We'll review this after
you're done...
Are you comfortable identifying your strengths (talents) in general? Many
survivors of
childhoods were mistakenly taught that affirming
personal strengths and gifts is
egotistical,
and/or arrogant (i.e. "bad"). A
healthier attitude is "affirming and growing my strengths and honestly
acknowledging my limitations are part of maintaining my personal identity
and self-respect."
Option - imagine yourself telling one or more childhood caregivers or
mentors "I'm about to inventory my communication strengths," and
their
verbal and nonverbal responses, Reflect on what they mean... Print this
inventory and review your responses later to see your growth!
+ + +
1) I define
"communication" as...
2) To me, "effective
communication" means:
3) Pick a child or adult communication
partner. Then rate yourself generally as a communicator with that person.
Option: rate yourself in calm times and in conflicts:
I'd say I'm…
__ very ineffective __ fairly
ineffective __ so-so __ fairly effective __ very
effective
4) Now guesstimate honestly: In my
communicating with them, I think they would rate me as…
__ very ineffective __ fairly
ineffective __ so-so __ fairly effective __ very
effective
-
Specifically
- what would help me communicate more effectively with them?
5)
Pick a special person and
rate them as a verbal communicator with you:
__ very ineffective __ fairly
ineffective __ so-so __ fairly effective
__ very
effective
-
Now guess how that person would rate himself or
herself:
__ very ineffective __ fairly
ineffective __ so-so __ fairly effective __ very
effective
-
Specifically,
what would help them communicate more effectively with you?
8)
Check your
usual communication strengths with a special communication partner, or
in general:
|
__ My
often
me in conflicts
__ I
make enough time to communicate __
I'm becoming fluent with these
__ I
express myself clearly
__ I
negotiate effectively with adults and kids __ I
can summarize well
__
I’m well organized when needed
__ I use appropriate physical touching
__
I’m generally
and
__ I assert my needs and limits effectively
__
I’m honest and genuine
__ I
handle most conflicts effectively
__ I
criticize others constructively
__
I’m OK _ hearing and _ saying "no"
__ I
discuss problems promptly and honestly
__ I
seldom interrupt
__
I’m direct and clear
__ I
self-disclose and use humor appropriately __ I
empathically in key situations
__ I’m usually
__ I'm aware of communication
|
__ I
initiate needed talks promptly __ I
use humor well
__ I
hang in there, vs. numb out or run away
__ I
make good eye contact
__ I have a large, growing vocabulary
__
I’m usually in the present (vs. past or future)
__ I
handle silences well enough
__
I’m usually empathic and sensitive
__ I usually have a 2-person
__ My
words, face, and body
__ I
stay focused key topics until we're done
__ I
other people
__ I
question well
__ I try to problem-solve vs. argue or control __
I’m usually tactful __
I’m usually patient __
I’m
vs. aggressive or submissive
__
I know how to respond to obnoxious people
__ I'm usually open to
respectful feedback
__
I communicate effectively with kids
__
|
9) In public and private, I can comfortably
express... (take your
time with each of these!)
|
__
Joy!
__
Encouragement
__
Thanks
__
Apology
__
Love
__
Boredom
__
Worry / anxiety
|
__
Anger __
Fear
__
Confusion
__
Shame
__
Disagreement
__
Hopes / dreams
__ Opinions |
__
Forgiveness
__
Frustration
__
Neediness
__
Pain
__
Affection
__
Tears
__
|
__
Vulnerability
__
Desire
__
Praise
__
Sadness
__
Weariness
__ Humor
__ |
-
Other specific
communication skills and abilities I want to develop over time
are…
-
What, if anything, is
preventing me?
Awarenesses...
The unique guidebook
Satisfactions
(Xlibris.com, 2001) integrates the key Lesson-1 and Lesson-2 articles and
resources in this nonprofit Web site, and pro-vides many practical
resources.
Pause and reflect - what did you learn? How did it feel to affirm your
communi-cation strengths?
Now
rate
your general effectiveness as a communicator again from one (I'm very
ineffective) to ten (I'm consistent very effective) ___. Did
anything change?
Recap
This article invites you to identify your specific communication strengths,
and to get a better idea of how effective a communicator you are - or could
be. You can choose to develop each of the unchecked strengths over time. You
can also use this inventory a guide for what to teach any young people in
your life about communicating well.
Keep
studying and practicing
Recall why you did this inventory - did you get what you needed? If not -
what
you need?
