Lesson 2 of 8 - learn effective communication basics and skills
	Lesson-2 Link Index   articles, worksheets, and reprints By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

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The Web address of this index is http://sfhelp.org/cx/links2.htm

This is one of 150+ Web articles about improving personal, relationship, and family health and satisfac-tions. This brief introduction describes the site's pur-pose, author, and the best ways to use this information. Each article is part of a mosaic of related ideas, so the more you read, the more sense they'll all make.        This article is one of a series describing effective thinking, communicating, and problem-solving concepts. The series summarizes seven learnable communication (relationship) skills that are essential for building high-nurturance relationships and resolving internal and social conflicts effectively.         The practical guidebook Satisfactions (Xlibris.com, 2001) integrates the key Lesson-2 Web articles and re-sources in this nonprofit Web site, and provides many useful resources.                 Before continuing, stop and reflect - why are you reading this - what do you need?

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Lesson 2 is for anyone who wants to fill more needs more often: (a) learn communication basics, (b) de-velop seven communication skills, and (c) teach these to your any kids in your life. A core requisite for success here is significant progress on Lesson 1 - empowering your true Self.

          The resources linked below result from my studying and teaching effective thinking and communication skills for over 40 years. The resources are organized by basics, seven skills, and skill-applications.

Article # and title:

2-1)    Lesson 2 study guide - a framework for using the resources below.

2-2)  A communication-knowledge quiz

2-3)  Questions and answers about effective communication

2-4)  Overview:  effective-communication basics

Seven Effect-communication Skills

Awareness Effective thinking Digging down

Empathic listening Assertion

Metatalk Problem solving

2-5)  Keystone skill: AWARENESS

2-6)  Exercise - Practice building your communication awareness. 

2-7)  Key attitudes that affect important relationships

2-8)  Perspective on "awareness bubbles"

2-9)  A personal inventory of communication strengths

2-10)  Pre-wired female-male differences in priorities
 

2-11)  EFFECTIVE THINKING, Why ineffective thinking is widespread, three ways to sharpen it, and          options for developing effective thinking  (2 pages)

Review - communication with and among your personality subselves (Lesson 1)

Review - "interview" one or more personality subselves (Lesson 1)

2-12)  Clear talk: A family and relationship glossary (3 pages)

2-13)  Sample phrases and questions that promote effective communication
 

Review - Perspective on surface and primary needs, and need-levels

2-14)  "DIG DOWN" to find the primary needs under any surface stressor - p. 1 of 3

2-15)  Examples of digging down - p. 2 of 3

2-16)  Suggestions on how to "dig down" effectively - p. 3 of 3

Review - typical primary-relationship needs

Review - perspective on common spiritual needs

Review - typical kids' developmental and family-adjustment needs

Review  How to analyze any relationship problem (so you can solve it) - (4 pages)

2-17)  EMPATHIC LISTENING - hearing with your heart

2-18)   Reprint: "Why Listening is Good for You," by Dr. James. J. Lynch

2-19)   Worksheet: A personal listening inventory

2-20)   Exercise: A two-person listening practice

 

2-21)  RESPECTFUL ASSERTION, vs. submission or aggression (2 pages)

2-22)  A sample adult's or child's Bill of Personal Rights - one key to effective assertions

Review - Perspective on respecting your partner and yourself (3 pages)

2-23)  Reprint: “Respect – the Heart of Every Successful Marriage,” by Annie Gottlieb

2-24)  Worksheet: Design an effective (assertion) "I"-message

2-25)  Worksheet: My personal assertion profile

2-26)  Exercise: two-person assertion practice

2-27)  METATALK - talking about communicating

2-28)  Metatalk guidelines and examples in common interpersonal situations

2-29)  Examples of communication sequences and patterns 

2-30)  Tool: How to map (diagram) your communication sequences

2-31)  Checklist of communication mistakes, and a lose-lose example - p. 1 of 3

2-32)  The same example, with the couple using effective communication skills - p. 2 of 3

2-33)  Example of effective couple's communication and awareness, concluded - p. 3 of 3

2-34)  Reprint: “Avoiding Couple Karate - Lessons in the Marital Arts,” by Anthony Brandt

 

2-35)  WIN-WIN PROBLEM SOLVING

2-36)  Examples of win-win problem-solving in action

2-37)  Worksheet - 30 common communication blocks 

2-38)  Worksheet: Your constructive and destructive conflict-resolution traits

2-39)  Exercise: A two-person problem-solving practice

2-40)  25 tips for building effective communication skill

Applying the Skills

2-41)  3 ways to improve thinking and communication effectiveness with anyone (2 pages).

2-42)  Improving communication effectiveness with your mate,

2-43)  Communicating effectively with kids and teens (4 pages)

Review - Premises about solving relationship problems  (Lesson 4)

2-44)  How to exchange effective personal feedback  

Review - An introduction to effective child discipline (Lesson 6)

Review: Guidelines for effective stepfamily child-discipline (Lesson 7)

Review - A menu of common relationship problems and solutions.

Review - Perspective on personal and family anger and grieving policies 

References

• Brief research summary on feeling better by naming your feelings

• Brief research summary on significant health risks for women repressing their feelings and needs in marital conflicts.

• Selected books on communications

+ + +

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Updated February 25, 2010