Q5) What needs to typical mates seek
to fill committing to a primary relationship? A) Some mix of
Q6) If there are core causes for
typical psychological and legal re/divorce,
2)
Why are some people
and how can I assess for this?
x) Compared to first-time
courtship, what's different
about courtship among average divorced or widowed bioparents and
prospective stepparents?
x) How can courting co-parents tell if
they're committing to the
(partner + stepkids + ex mate/s + kin)?
8) How
can courting partners tell if
they're co-committing for the right
9) How
can courting partners tell if
it's the
to commit?
10)
Does cohabiting before mate-commitment help
prevent psychological or legal divorce?
11)
What should officiating
clergy and other pre-marital counselors know
about the pervasive [wounds + ignorance] cycle
in order to help engaged couples make wise commitment decisions?
12) What (a) is a "relationship
problem," and (b) what communication and
problem-solving
basics
and
do typical mates need in
order to resolve their marital problems
effectively?
13) What are the most common
communication blocks? What can average
to reduce or avoid them to resolve their relationship problems? What's likely to
from doing so?
14) What are the most
common presenting (surface) problems with
stepfamily clients, and what are the common primary needs that cause them?
15) What is
and when does it "start" and "end"?
16)
What
divorce-prevention resources does this site offer? Answer:
-
This series of prevention articles
for lay people and professionals;
-
These educational slide
presentations, and this related 8-Part
re/marriage-preparation
course for couples and groups;
-
This Q&A series on stepfamily courtship and
related topics;
-
The co-parent
collection of articles and worksheets,
including courtship
-
These
related guidebooks, which integrate the key articles and tools in this
non-profit site, and...
-
This
set of collected resources for co-parents
and their supporters.
Question index
Questions about
Professional Qualifications
for working with
Premise: for effective interventions with typical divorced-family and stepfamily clients,
clinicians and other family-support professionals need special (a) traits,
(b)
attitudes, (c) knowledge, (d) skills, (e) resources, and (f)
informed support.
17)
(a) What is a
and
how can I tell if I'm guided by mine?
If I'm not, (b) what are the
and professional implications, and (c) what are my options?
My life experience suggests this is the most fundamental requirement to
provide
to
anyone.
18) What special
traits and
attitudes (values,
biases, beliefs) do I need in order to work effectively with typical divorcing families and stepfamilies?
19) What special
knowledge do I need to work
effectively with stepfamilies?
20) What
special
skills do I need
for effective assessment and interventions with divorced-family and stepfamily clients?
21) What other special
resources do I need for effective service to these
clients?
22) How can I judge if my
supervisor, case manager, and/or consultants (a) are guided by their
true
Selves, (b)
know enough about effective clinical work with
divorced-family and stepfamily
clients, and (c) have requisite attitudes
about (a) therapy and (b) these clients? (d) What are my options if they don't have
these requisites - i.e. if they're too
and
23) Why should I care about the
of my organization, and how can I
evaluate it?
Question index
Questions
About Typical
Stepfamily Clients
Premise:
typical divorcing families and stepfamilies are like intact biofamilies
and
very different from them in others. The more you're aware of the similarities and differences,
the more effective you can be long-term with divorced-family and
stepfamily clients.
Key questions clinicians should ask and answer:
24) What is a "stepfamily client"?
25)
What do typical co-parents and supporters need to know about
stepfamilies, re/marital
and protections, and
effective stepparenting?
26) How do
differ from
typical intact biofamilies structurally and
dynamically?
27) What do these differences
usually
to co-parents, kids, and society?
28) Why is it vital that all
stepfamily adults and their supporters accept their
29) What is a (step)family
and why is evolving one
essential for average
multi-home stepfamilies?
30) What common
misconceptions do average stepfamily adults have
about their
and relationships, and what are the (usual)
realities?
31) What do I need to know about typical
adult and minor
stepkids?
32) What are the key
differences between stepparenting and
bioparenting?
33) What is
effective child discipline,
and what's unique about
discipline in average stepfamilies?
34) What are the most common
to effective
among stepparents and divorced bioparents, and
how can I best help clients understand and
reduce them?
35) What do I need to know about what typical stepfamily
co-grandparents' need?
36) How does the typical stepfamily
development cycle compare to the cycle of
average intact biofamilies,
and why are the differences between them important?
37)
(a) What are the most common
presenting
problems (symptoms) with typical stepfamily
clients, (b) what
them,
and (c) how can I help co-parents
avoid or reduce
them?
38) Why is it commonly estimated that
average American stepfamilies are at higher risk of psychological and legal
than
first-marriage
biofamilies?
See also the "stepfamily," stepchild," and "co-parent" questions
here.
Question index
Note
- this model and series was originally designed to focus on effective
clinical work with typical di-vorcing families and stepfamilies. It is
being reorganized in 2009 to pertain to all "low-nurturance"
(multi-problem, "dysfunctional") families, and persons recovering from
early-childhood trauma ("Grown Wounded Children" - GWCs). Sections still
hilight keys to serving divorcing and stepfamily members effectively.
Perspective