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Toward effective service to
individuals, and divorcing
families and stepfamilies |
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Spiritual Assessment and
Interventions - p. 1of 3
Tap Your and Your Clients'
Spiritual Resources!
By
Peter K. Gerlach, MSW |
 The Web address of this article is
https://sfhelp.org/pro/gwc/spirituality.htm
Clicking links here will open a new window or an informational popup,
so turn off your browser's popup
blocker or accept popups from this nonprofit, ad-free site . If the windows distract you, read the article before following any links.
This article is one of a series on
professional counseling, coaching, and therapy with (a) low-nurturance
(dysfunctional) families and with (b) typical
of childhood
and trauma. These articles for
professionals are under construction.
This series assumes you're familiar with:
Before continuing, pause and reflect - why are you reading this article?
What do you
+ + +
This three-page Web article focuses on an often-neglected aspect of clinical service to persons and families -
using clients' spiritual
resources. This page offers ...
-
key semantic definitions;
-
a self-assessment
inventory about your spirituality and your
workplace;
-
a
core reason to include spirituality in clinical
work with divorcing families and stepfamilies;
-
basic perspective
on, and premises about spirituality and
clinical spirituality interventions; and...
-
potential
benefits of
including spirituality in the work with receptive clients.
Page 2 offers (a) perspective on toxic
spirituality, and options for (b)
assessing client spirituality, and
(c) effective spiritual interventions with these clients.
Page 3 suggests spirituality-interventions
with co-parents with (a) nurturing and (b) toxic spiritual beliefs, and
(c ) hilights
key
questions that arise from spirituality assessments and interventions.
To get the most from this
article, first please read...
-
this perspective on the
difference between spirituality
and religion,
-
this article
on healthy and toxic spiritual and religious beliefs and practices;
and...
-
this article for stepfamily adults on
options for managing family
values and/or loyalty conflicts about religion or spirituality.
This article is not a
sales pitch for God or a religion. It invites you to reflect and
clarify your own beliefs on using spirituality in your life and work. I
write this as a seeker and fellow explorer, not an authority. Though every
client, clinician, and case is unique, my experience suggests some general
benefits to selectively including spirituality in helping clients achieve
desired systemic changes.
 Terminology
Clear semantic definitions promote effective thinking and communication - specially
on a topic as primary, abstract, and controversial as this one. Compare these
definitions to yours. In these articles...
Spirituality means "the innate human ability
to experience mind-body-spirit states of awe, reverence, and faith in one or
more transpersonal, numinous presences and powers (spirits) which can
provide significant comfort, hope, guidance, and serenity." Even in
this age of unprecedented scientific knowledge, most people explain the
unexplainable and counteract despair via faith in a spiritual reality
greater than themselves. Faith
is trusting something to be true or real without being able to "prove,"
demonstrate, or replicate it.
Healthy spirituality means personal, family, and organizational
beliefs and related behaviors about interacting with a benign Higher Power
which consistently _ promote inner-family (personality) harmony, and _ fill
current primary personal needs.
Toxic spiritual beliefs and behaviors, like spiritual and
religious
,
and
; (a) promote
,
(b) inhibit personal
,
and (c) lower a family's
.
Spirituality assessment is intentionally forming an opinion about an
individual's or group's _ attitudes about and _ faith in an accessible,
impactful
Higher Power in their lives, and about _ whether they want or expect to
include spiritual faith in clinical work.
A
spiritual intervention is any unconscious or intentional clinician behavior acknowledging or
including a Higher Power which causes some meaningful shift in one or more
client-family members - according to someone. Shift includes changes
in attitudes, focus, moods, awareness, expectations, roles, communication,
and behaviors. Successful spirituality interventions improve a client
family's wholistic health and nurturance level, as judged by family members.
Praying is intentionally or reflexively focusing on a personal
Higher Power and venting, requesting something, and/or expressing thanks.
People with genuine spiritual faith can feel comfort [hope, connection (vs.
isolation), and potency (vs. helplessness)] in the act of praying
alone or together whether they "get a response" or not. Clinician's
can ask "Is your praying one-way, or do you expect a response?"
They also can decide if, when, and how
to pray with (vs. for) receptive clients. Do you have an opinion on "What is an effective prayer?"
Spiritual or pastoral counseling aims to _ help seekers
clarify their personal beliefs about a Higher Power, _ identify and resolve
questions about religion, _ expand their spiritual awareness and
experiences, and _ harmonize spiritual faith with other aspects of life.
Clients may seek these, or clinicians who feel qualified may choose to focus
on client spirituality as part of the work.
Religion refers to the man-made beliefs, rituals, Holy book/s, and
organizations that groups of like-minded worshippers co-create. Being "religious" does not
necessarily mean "spiritual." Worship and prayer are
intentional personal and group behaviors which focus on experiencing meaningful communion with
a Higher Power. Attending church can fill personal needs for
structure, relationship harmony, inspiration, and social companionship,
support, and normalcy without being spiritual. And...
Theology is a coherent or vague set of beliefs about the
interrelationships of God and/or other spiritual entities, the Earth, the
universe, living things, souls, humans, religion, origins, good and evil,
and what happens after death. Psychologically wounded and unaware people
tend to have an undeveloped or a rigid, c/overtly elitist personal theology.
A family's theology may range from harmonious and unified to fragmented and
conflictual.
I
invite you to use these definitions to clarify your own. Let's
use them now to explore some key basics...
Perspective
The keystone question here is "What
do you believe now about spirituality, the "human condition," and
your work?" You'll get the most from what follows if you're _
non-distracted, and _ your team of
is guided by your true Self. Learn
about yourself by reflecting on these and related questions. As you do,
notice your
Option: journal about your reaction to these questions now or later...
Are you a spiritual (vs. religious)
person? if so, what does that mean?
What
percentage of your past and present _ clients and _ colleagues would you say were or are
"significantly spiritual"?
Do you feel a
person can be
without
having some meaningful, coherent spiritual beliefs and experiences?
Do you feel spirituality
can be toxic? Do spiritual or religious aggression, abuse, and
neglect exist? Spiritual or religious addiction? If you say "yes," on a
range of 1 (not at all) to 10 (extremely), how qualified are you now to clinically assess and intervene with each of those now?
What are your
current _ personal and _ workplace
policies about including "appropriate
spirituality
interventions" (using personal and client spiritual faith to
promote desired systemic change) in clinical work?
From 1 to
10, how qualified do you feel now to provide
meaningful spirituality interventions to receptive clients? If you don't feel
able enough, what do
you need, specifically, to gain such qualification?
Can you recall instances where
spirituality seemed a significant positive factor in your and/or others'
clinical outcomes?
In discussing cases with colleagues and
supervisors, is it common for you all to include spirituality
assessments and intervention strategies? How does
spirituality affect your
clinical assessment-intervention
paradigm
?
If a young
teen asked you to describe
spiritual health, how would you respond?
How would you describe your ethical
_ responsibilities and _ boundaries towards promoting clients' spiritual
health and well-being - specially if they don't ask you to?
If you
judge a client person's or a family's spirituality to be significantly
toxic, what do you do now? What would your clinical mentor/s or hero/ines do?
Do you believe that
focused genuine (vs. rote) spiritual faith and prayer can permanently reduce
_ psychological
distress and/or _ cause lasting physiological change ("healing")?
If your clinical mentors and hero/ines
use spirituality in their life work, how - and with what personal and
professional effects?
How do you
currently react to any significant differences in spiritual faith with your
clients, specially if they infer or declare that your beliefs are "wrong"?
Do you believe
your Higher Power is present and accessible in typical - or all - client sessions? If
so, do you openly _ acknowledge that, and/or _ ask for guidance, courage,
and inspiration? If so, how do your clients typically respond?
Do you feel
it's _ safe and _ appropriate to discuss spirituality assessment and
interventions with your supervisor, case manager, and/or consultants? If
not - why?
Do you believe
that each person has a latent or active
or "higher Self"
whose gift is spiritual awareness, sensitivity, and communion? Is it
useful to you to acknowledge or define a human soul?
Do you feel
"spiritual assessment and intervention
options" would be a useful clinical
in-service topic? How would your colleagues
feel about this?
Do you feel that a
child's or adult's beliefs affect their _ behaviors and _ openness to
second-order systemic
Do you see client beliefs (in general) as potentially-useful
intervention opportunities?
Pause, breathe, and reflect - what
other questions
or awarenesses about spirituality and clinical work occur to you now? Have you ever
meditated on or discussed a
set of questions like these before?
Is spirituality a
valid clinical focus with these clients?
I believe so, with some limits. Here's why:
My
professional experience since 1979 is that
typical mental-health workers feel
ambivalent or cautious about including spirituality in their work, except pastoral
counselors. I've also experienced that fewer than ~25% of my
(white, suburban Chicago-area) clients spontaneously brought up "God" in
36 years' clinical
practice. It seems that
our ancestry and culture teach average clients to expect that spirituality is outside
the boundaries while "seeing a counselor" - except in a church
setting or with a
pastoral professional. Yet recent CNN polls suggest a
high majority of Americans believe in a Higher Power, and well over half believe in
"miracles."
I
write this as a former atheist. My
29-year recovery from growing up with two alcoholic (i.e.
psychologically
parents has led me to solid faith in
the reality of a benign God. This
belief-shift has many roots: my 12-step
ACoA (Adult Child of Alcoholics) work, the writings of many recovery
and clinical mentors, the Unitarian and Unity church
movements, hundreds of
recovering clients and friends, informal study of Buddhism and other Eastern beliefs, and my
aging and other life experiences. I've cautiously used my
emerging
spiritual faith in working with clients who seemed open to it. Where I have, believing
and affirming the strength and guidance of a Higher Power to be
present during and outside the work has always expanded our therapeutic alliance
and options.
I
estimate that over 80% of the many hundreds of therapy clients and students I've worked with since
1981 have shown clear symptoms of
childhood
and significant false-self
. Most
were used to living chaotic, stressful - or numb - inner and outer lives shaped by major
,
losses,
frustrations, and confusions.
These self-referred men and women have ranged
from spiritually cynical to indifferent to blindly religious to
truly spiritual.
The great potential for
easing their journey and nurturing their kids by weaving respectful spirituality interventions into
our clinical work went untapped, until my own recovery from
dominance freed me to do that.
In
this clinical model,
focuses on identifying and
healing psychological wounds in clients and clinicians.
From my personal and clinical experience, true (vs. pseudo)
is far more likely for persons believing in an
unconditionally-loving, accessible Higher Power. If "healthy spirituality" is necessary for personal
wholistic health
and
(need-fulfilling) relationships and groups, then ethically and practically,
needs to include it in assessments, goals, and interventions. This premise
needs to be formally researched and validated or rejected.
Because spiritual faith and religious practices are subjective and personal, using "strategic spirituality
interventions" in clinical work raises ethical,
moral, and procedural debates. Each human-service professional and
policy-maker must evolve their own values and priorities. Textbook, rote, and classroom answers
appeal to people who haven't yet needed to clarify
their personal theology, and integrate it into their professional choices
and behaviors.
Basic
Premises about Spirituality and Relationships
Expand your self-awareness by musing on these ideas. Try responding to each
with A(gree), D(isagree), or "?" - i.e. "I'm unsure now, or it depends (on
what?)". Take your time.
This clinical model proposes that...
1)
Human spirituality is real, innate, and ranges from
nurturing
(health-promoting) to toxic. A corollary is that every personality
includes a latent or active
whose gift is spiritual sensitivity,
wisdom, and connection with a or the Higher Power. This subself can manifest
as "the still small voice within" and "intuitive wisdom." People have varied
conceptions of and names for this entity, including Guardian Angel, fairy
(Godmother), "Old Ones," totems, spirit guides and councils, "My higher
Self," "God within," and others.
| 2)
Part (or most?) of the emptiness, alienation, and numbness that significantly-wounded
people experience comes from excessive shame, distrust, and rejecting their
spiritual subself and meaningful communion with a nurturing Higher Power. Until
true
(vs. pseudo)
progress occurs, wounded people typically self-medicate their relentless
via one or more addictions and/or
relationships with people, pets, plants, and/or fantasies. (A
D ?) |
3) Spiritual beliefs can significantly affect emotional and
physiological dis/comfort. This implies that spiritual and religious
,
aggression,
, and
are real, and can promote significant
psychological
.
It also implies that nurturing spirituality can promote recovery from
psychological wounds. A corollary: religions range
from
nurturing
to personally and socially toxic in their beliefs and practices. (A D
?)
4) Individual spiritual
and religious beliefs and practices are strongly shaped by ancestral and
societal traditions and the primal need to feel and be seen as "normal," so
ruling subselves resist changing them. Personal,
family, clan, and religious-denominational scripts (belief systems) are based on inherited tradition
and fear of scorn and rejection, not logic. Therefore,
reasoning is
rarely effective in promoting second-order
in client's (or
a clinician's) toxic spiritual beliefs.
(A D ?)
5)
One person inferring
or proclaiming that they know the real truth about God, Heaven,
Hell, worship, and "salvation" and another person doesn't usually promotes repressed or open resentment and conflict. Even when framed
as "But I'm trying to save your soul!", the insulting implication is "I
don't accept you as you are - you are not OK." Despite noble
intentions, trying to c/overtly change another
person's beliefs ("help them") is implicitly disrespectful if they aren't
seeking help: "I know better than you, so
you're
."
This dynamic can cause major strife as new
stepfamily members try to blend their belief systems and traditions. (A
D ?)
6)
Personal and
family spiritual beliefs and practices change spontaneously with
and life
experience. By definition, such changes are second-order (core attitude). (A
D ?)
7)
Inter-subself and
interpersonal disputes over spirituality and religion are always surface
conflicts. The underlying primary discomforts are
unrecognized or unhealed psychological
, amplified
by unawareness of
_
the seven communication
, and _ how to spot and resolve
.
(A D ?)
8)
Every clinician and
human-service organization has covert or stated policies (belief
and value sets) on personal and client spirituality. These policies shape
clinical outcomes in minor or major ways. "No policy" is
a policy. (A D ?)
9) Clinicians
can shift their policies on spirituality at any time if _ they're consistently guided by their true
Selves and _ they work in a high-nurturance
organization. (A D ?) And ...
10)
A clinician may or may not believe that prayer can promote desired
client changes. What is more relevant for effective clinical work is what
each client adult and child believes and expects.
11) Well-designed,
respectful spirituality interventions can
promote personal healing and growth, in clients who are ready for second-order
(personality) change. (A D ?)
12) One indicator of a clinician's true spirituality is whether s/he
believes something like "God works through me to nurture my clients" or
something like "I often ask God for help when I'm stymied or conflicted
about
my clients." The fundamental question is "Who directs this work - my and my
client's true Selves, God, or all of us?" The answer affects how relevant
and useful the
is to clinicians, supervisors, and case managers; and if, how, when, and
what spirituality interventions seem appropriate. (A D ?)
Pause and reflect - why are you reading this article? What do you need? Try
summing up your basic belief about including spirituality in your work in
one or two sentences. To augment or clarify your beliefs, see how you feel
about these...
Potential
Clinical Benefits
... of using
strategic spirituality assessments and interventions. Recall: "effective
spirituality interventions" _ raise an inner-family's or
client-family's nurturance level, and _ help
client family members and clinicians fill their needs in a way that
feels good to all participants. See how you feel about these possible clinical benefits
to including respectful (vs. authoritarian) spirituality in your work with
receptive clients...
1) Overtly
agreeing on a Higher Power greater than themselves can strengthen the
client-clinician alliance. It also creates the options of
a whole class of spirituality interventions not otherwise available,
including the
clinician and attending clients praying together. Have you ever
experienced this as a client or professional? Shared belief in a responsive
Higher Power suggests that the clinician need not feel solely responsible
for clinical decisions and outcomes. The responsibility is shared by
clinician's and clients' respective ruling subselves, as influenced by their
Higher Power. Acknowledging God's caring presence in each session can feel
like having a real time "supervisor" and mentor advising and guiding. This
can be specially reassuring with highly wounded, conflicted, reactive, and
"hostile" client adults and kids.
2)
Focusing strategically on a client's spiritual beliefs and practices may
disclose new ways they can increase personal and family harmony and wholistic health.
One example is raising a client's _ awareness of toxic spiritual
faith and practices (page 2), and their motivation to change these.
3)
The
clinician may initiate strategic spiritual experiences that expand
the client's awareness and options - e.g. guided imagery involving
interaction with a spiritual presence or icon like Jesus or Buddha. A
potentially powerful therapeutic question to Christian clients is "What
would Jesus say about (or do in) this situation?" Or in inner-family work, the clinician can suggest "Get
quiet, breathe well, and focus on the young part of you who is terrified of abandonment...
Have a safe
three-way inner conversation between that subself, your true Self, your
and
your Higher Power (or God, your Spiritual part, your Guardian
Angel, your Spirit Guide, etc.). I'll be quiet while you do
that."
4) The undeniable
global success of the 12-step
"Anonymous" philosophy in controlling toxic compulsions (i.e. false-self
dominance) is based on recoverers' choosing to abandon fruitless attempts to
control the
and "turning such problems over" to a responsive, benign Higher Power of
their own conception. In accord with that, my 12-year experience
with
(
work in this model) is that client + clinician faith in the reality of an
accessible, caring Higher Power is essential for genuine progress.
5)
Spirituality interventions may promote using the client's
religious community, if any, as a resource in the work. Alternatively,
they may raise awareness about, and reduce the influence of, a
(toxic)
church community.
A final potential benefit to including spirituality assessment and
intervention in working with these clients is...
6) Exploring
spirituality issues can illuminate repressed or minimized personal and
family conflicts, alliances, coalitions,
scripts, and
that may contribute to the client
family's current presenting
and/or underlying problems. ("So your wife's grandmother scorns you as a
father and son-in-law because she feels you're an unrepentant, arrogant
sinner?")
Can you think of other benefits? Each unique case may present benefits
beyond these generic ones.
This Web page continues exploring spirituality (vs. religion) as a clinical
resource and/or client stressor. The first page proposes...
-
some key semantic
definitions;
-
a self-assessment
inventory about your spirituality and your
workplace;
-
a
reason to include spirituality in clinical
work with divorcing families and stepfamilies;
-
basic perspective
on, and premises about spirituality and
clinical spirituality interventions; and...
-
potential
benefits of
including spirituality in the work with receptive clients.
This page
...
-
describes psychologically-toxic
spirituality,
-
outlines ideas on
assessing client
spirituality, and ...
-
offers ideas on how to use the clinician's and
client's spirituality with client-families whose spirituality seems
non-toxic.
The
final page offers intervention-options for
clients with toxic spiritual or religious beliefs and practices.
About Toxic
Spirituality ...
This site promotes
(wholistically healthy) family relationships.
"Toxic"
means anything that significantly blocks or degrades that,
in someone's informed view. Because spirituality is one of four core
ingredients of personal and family wholistic health,
I propose that some spiritual and religious values, beliefs, and practices can be unquestionable
toxic. Some people believe that accepting our spiritual "One-ness" is the core
human health issue.
Let's define toxic spirituality or religion as beliefs that promote
excessive
,
(e.g. of
Satan, demons, Hell, Purgatory, and/or "eternal damnation"), hatred, scorn, pretense,
intolerance,
,
righteous
, black/white and
thinking, aggression ("you must believe the one true Word!"),
dependence on a Holy Book for rote values ands answers instead of self-aware
personal judgment and instinct; and
(e.g. the Salem witchcraft persecutions). When present, these attributes
usually indicate
,
, and
.
This model proposes that
spiritual neglect, abuse, and aggression are major toxic stressors.
They each (1) indicate _ a low-nurturance setting and _ major adult
;
and (2) significantly degrade personal and family-system balance and health.
Premises:
-
spiritual
occurs in a family when co-parents don't value or intentionally try to
help kids' _ understand and _ experience a nurturing Higher Power, _
honestly answer kids' questions about their own spirituality (or lack of
it), and _ respect every person's right to
form their own spiritual and religious beliefs and practices over time.
-
spiritual
occurs when one person (like a co-parent) forces toxic spiritual beliefs
and/or religious practices on a dependent person who cannot defend
themselves or withdraw. A common example is the innocent traditional child's
prayer "Now I lay me down to sleep," which implies the adult calmly believes
each night that the child may "die before (s/he) wakes."
-
spiritual aggression occurs when one person
insists that
another person must accept some (undesired or repugnant) spiritual beliefs or
religious practices without regard for that person's opinions or needs. The
distinction between abuse and aggression can be vague an subjective. It may be relevant only if "abuse,"
"abused," and
are highly-provocative
terms to one or more participants.
Righteous belief in the concept of
evil
(purposeful, malevolent intentions and actions) can be toxic, depending on
how that belief affects actions and relationships. Judging a person or a
personality subself to be evil (vs. wounded and unaware)
makes the judger "1-up" (superior). This prevents mutually-respectful
communication and relationships, and fosters resentment, defensiveness, and
retaliation or withdrawal. I suspect that people who need to label others as
evil and themselves as good are unaware of being chronically
ruled by excessively-shamed subselves.
|
Nurturing spirituality
is faith in a benign, accessible Higher Power which promotes genuine
acceptance, love, and respect of self and others;
(vs.
healthy
and
wholistic
and growth;
forgiveness
and compassion; selective
realistic optimism (vs.
rigid idealism
or cynicism)
and hope;
and
self
and
|
Implication:
some beliefs and actions based
rigidly on the Hebrew/Christian Old Testament are psychologically toxic. That
book's demand of absolute obedience to a
"wrathful, vengeful God" promotes fear, guilt, and shame just for
being born human - specially when amplified by a stern, judgmental church
community. The belief that rejecting Jesus the Christ as a personal Savior dooms
a person to "burn forever in Hell" is psychologically toxic
beyond dispute - specially to a vulnerable child. Notice your reaction: indignation, defensiveness, pity, and
scorn are sure signs of false-self dominance.
Christian and similar concepts of
"original sin" can be toxic to persons and families. If
over-emphasized and taken literally, this idea promotes (a) chronic guilt, shame,
anxiety, self doubt, and (b) rote reliance on reported beliefs of people dead
for millennia, vs. personal judgment and inner spiritual wisdom. Yes, the concept of personal
or mortal sin can promote morally-right actions,
but (I fear) at
the risk of significant psychological wounding, stunted personal
development, and chronic shame and anxiety.
Taken literally, modern manifestations of the
ancient Persian (pre-Christian) concept of "Hell" and "the Devil" can also be
psychologically toxic, because they promote spiritual aggression and abuse, and terror.
These encourage false-self dominance and related
- specially in young children. Earnest proponents warn that Satan constantly
schemes to snare unwary persons' souls, depriving them of (Christian)
salvation and Heavenly peace. This promotes choosing Christian beliefs and
affiliations because of fear and distrust.
As a grateful believer in an unconditionally-loving God,
I am not
Bible-bashing here. I am proposing there's a toxic price tag
to not seeing Holy books as offering useful symbolic
and metaphoric guidance,
inspiration, and
moral encouragements, vs. Divine instruction and "law."
mindless
beliefs that God or Allah - via the Bible or Koran - demand that they kill "infidels" and "unbelievers" to be "righteous" and
"attain Paradise or Heaven" is one of the bloodiest tragedies
in the human saga. Incidentally, can you recall reading or hearing of
militant Buddhist, Quaker, or Hindu "fanatics"?
You probably know adults who make major life decisions based on
rigid religious credos (and needs for social inclusion and approval), rather than on their own inner
spiritual/rational wisdom. After
77 years
on Earth and over a decade of experience with
, I
propose that people who don't know they're controlled by a
risk
stunted, distorted, or toxic spirituality. This seems specially likely in
human environments.
Unaware, wounded co-parents risk uncritical reliance on charismatic, fervent
religious leaders for life-guidance, rather than on their
inner Spirit and true Self. Whose
beliefs are shaping your life?
I invite you to reflect now on what you believe
about _ nurturing and toxic spirituality, and
_ how your beliefs and related moral (right/wrong) values affect the professional service you provide.
Notice your
now...
We've briefly reviewed ideas on _ why include spirituality in clinical work
with these clients, and _ toxic and nurturing spirituality. Let's use
these ideas now to explore options for...
Assessing Client
Spirituality
Have
you evolved an effective conscious way to learn about your clients' spirituality
now? If you belief spirituality is a valid aspect of clinical work, four
relevant questions are: assess for _ what, _ when, and _ how?
Assess What?
Typical questions to research are...
-
Does spirituality or
religion significantly shape this family's
?
The clinician may judge "significantly" differently than the family's
leader/s.
-
If
not, is this a symptom of the family's leaders bearing significant
psychological wounds? To answer, the clinician must first assess _ "Who
this
now?," and _ "Who
recently?"
-
If
so, where do the impacts of each of these two factors fall on a line
between "highly toxic" and "highly nurturing"?
-
If "significantly nurturing," how can I
best use this to promote effective clinical service with this family?"
-
If
"significantly toxic": is there credible evidence of spiritual _
neglect, _ abuse, or _ aggression affecting members of this family? If so, _
how do these relate to the client's presenting problems, and _ what are my
clinical options?
-
If this
client-family's spiritual beliefs and/or religious practices differ
significantly from mine, does that hinder my respect for, and objectivity
with them? If so, what is my best option?
-
If any
client adult judges my spiritual and religious beliefs, does this help or
hinder our work? What are my options?
-
Do this
family's spirituality or religious preferences and practices significantly
bias _ an ex mate and/or relatives, _ my supervisor, _ any consultant/s
working with the family, or _ anyone else who affects this family's
nurturance level? And...
-
How receptive are these client
adults to discussing and using spirituality openly to enhance our work
together?
Reflect on current or recent divorcing or stepfamily clients - have
you assessed any of these questions with them? If so, has this helped or
hindered your service to them, so far? If you need to discuss this with
anyone, _ who and _ why?
Is There a
Best Time to Assess
Client Spirituality?
At intake: The answer depends on your and/or your organization's
policy on this: "If I or we ask about client spirituality and religion as
part of the intake process,
how may that affect the work? In religiously homogenous communities
("Chattanooga is largely Baptist"), this may be clear. Insecure (wounded)
client adults may be uncomfortable with or resent such questions, feeling "It's
none of your business!," or "That has no bearing on our (presenting)
problems!" Conversely, "religious" clients may find the question
appropriate and reassuring. An intake-questionnaire item asking clients to
define "Family religious preference, if any: ______" may be an acceptable
compromise for average clients.
After intake: If the clinician or agency doesn't ask at intake,
clients may reveal their spiritual or religious identities and beliefs
spontaneously as sessions unfold. When and how they do, in the context of
the work, will suggest whether to ask for more information or not. If the
clinician notices no such spontaneous information, s/he has more strategic
options earlier if s/he asks some general question/s during initial
conversations: "Do you feel
someone's spirituality is affecting your (presenting) problem in any
significant way?" First asking "Do your family members see
spirituality and religion as the same, or different?" is a
stylistic choice. Be prepared for something like: "We've never talked about
that."
Special situations: as client members reveal themselves, some key
situations make spirituality and religious assessment specially relevant and
useful - e.g.
-
"Addicted"
families: if one or more family members appear to have any of the four
,
describing and/or referring clients to a
12-step program should include telling them to expect it to invite them
to turning unmanageable life situations over to a personal Higher Power.
This may prevent atheist and agnostic (wounded) clients from following such
referral.
-
Individual
recovery (inner-family) work: many children and adults ruled by false selves
are significantly stressed by subselves excessively
,
and
by toxic religious beliefs. At some point in the
work, it can be productive to focus respectfully on these subselves.
Assessment options include exploring _ what they believe about God, Satan,
Heaven, Hell, sin, evil, etc., _ where they got their beliefs, _ who they
fear would disapprove of their shifting beliefs, and _ how other subselves
react to these beliefs. There are many variations.
-
Families majorly conflicted over
religious prejudice - the three or more extended biofamilies
comprising
are specially vulnerable to significant values conflicts over spirituality
and religion. Some divorced bioparents develop serious conflicts over their
children's religious training. Most client co-parents haven't developed a
unified, effective strategy to resolve
in general. Doing so is part of safeguard
here.
-
Families significantly stressed by
.
A major resource in healthy
is (a) accepting that we
many aspects of our relationships and environment, and (b) "turning them over"
to a caring Higher Power. People with clear spiritual faith may temporarily
lose it when reacting to some incomprehensible loss ("If there's a loving
God, how could He allow this?"). They need to progress on the spiritual
level of mourning, which (a) finds some answer to that question (e.g. "I
accept that I can't know why God does what He does."), and (b) eventually
restores a stable spiritual faith.
-
Families stressed by a media or social source of toxic religious beliefs or
practices - e.g. a church, cult, or "movement." Can you think of any in
media headlines recently?
-
Families unintentionally neglecting the spiritual development of dependent
children.
Some options apply to all
.
In what follows, "God" can be any title, label, or Prophet you feel is most
relevant:
-
Include one or several
questions on any intake forms or checklists - e.g. "On a scale
of 1 to 10 (10 = "extremely"), how important would you say
spirituality (vs. religion) is to your immediate family recently?"
-
When appropriate, ask
generic questions like ...
"What does
'spirituality' mean to you?"
"Do you believe in
a Higher Power now? 'No' is perfectly OK with me."
"Do you feel that
God can help you with this problem?"
"How are you most
comfortable accessing God?"
"Do you feel God is
present in and with us right now?"
"How comfortable
would you be in our asking for God's help as we work together?"
"Have you ever had
an experience where you felt God's presence or intervention?"
"What did each of
your childhood caregivers teach you about spirituality?"
"If God spoke to
you now about your problem, what do you feel you'd hear?"
"Do you have a
spiritual mentor now?", or "Have you ever had a
spiritual mentor or teacher?"
"How would others
in your family feel about our using our spirituality to help us in our
work?"
The way attending clients answer questions like these
(mindlessly, timidly, anxiously, vaguely, confidently,...) reveals as much as their answers. My experience is that responses to
questions like these usually suggest follow-on assessment questions which help develop
a "sense" of individuals' and the family's client's spiritual and
religious beliefs, rules
(boundaries), morals, and priorities.
When Assessment Timing
Is there a best time in the work to assess a client's spiritual
resources and limits? Because assessment is an organic, phased process, and
spirituality or religion can be highly-charged topics, clinical flexibility
helps, here. Experience suggests that building a solid therapeutic alliance and
gaining a sense of the clients' traits and situation first, is a good guide
for if and when to ask assessment questions like those above. In part, the
timing will depend on _ the clinician's style and comfort level
with this topic, _ cues provided by the attending clients, and
_ the presenting
problems.
Some clients will bring up spiritual or religious issues spontaneously, creating an
opportunity to assess. With those who don't, the clinician's Self will guide them to wait until a "lull" or an
occurs in the flow of the
work. Clinical impasses are "windows of opportunity" that can open
new intervention possibilities. Example: the clinician asks ...
"I confess, I feel stuck right now. I'd like us to be quiet for a few moments, and
see if (God, Higher Power, Inner Voice, ...) will give you or me a
direction that we're not seeing yet. Would you feel OK doing that?"
Such a question is both an assessment and a teaching intervention. My
experience since 1981 is that most clients with prior clinical experience have never
_ had a professional admit to being
"stuck," and/or _ heard a question like that. What's your
experience?
The Right Conditions
What "conditions" promote successful clinical spirituality
interventions with typical divorcing and stepfamily clients?
-
The clinician's inner
family
is clearly under the guidance of their true Self (vs.
false
self) and a meaningful Higher Power. Otherwise spirituality
interventions may be contrived, insincere, ambivalent, or covertly
manipulative or shaming.
-
The client and clinician mutually
respect each other's theology, even if they clearly disagree on some
elements.
- Both agree that the clinician (other
than an invited spiritual counselor) is not trying to instruct
the client on what or how to believe, or how to worship. Nor is s/he judging the "rightness" of what the client
believes - unless their beliefs seem toxic to the client and/or
others. "Toxic" means significantly degrading the client's
or dependent kid's wholistic health by promoting excessive fear, guilt, shame,
distrust, bigotry, and/or confusion. In this site,
"client" means the attending person/s'
Other "right circumstances" include ...
-
The clinician's choices about spirituality
interventions are self-motivated and authentic, and are acceptable to co-workers, supervisor, and clinical or
program director, if any. If not, overt or unspoken values' conflicts with colleagues may
promote
inner
conflict ("ambivalence") in session, which can
confuse and hinder the client's trust in the clinician.
-
The attending client/s are
receptive enough (per their judgment) to the clinician's respectfully
exploring spirituality issues and resources - among others - in
assessing and filling the client's unfilled needs; and ...
-
The clinician is able to flex to adapt
to the client's spiritual concepts and language, rather than
requiring or implying that the client should use the clinician's
concepts and terminology. A corollary is that the clinician needs to
avoid imposing their own spiritual biases about if or how
a Supreme Being may or may not help in the work; And ...
- any other conditions you feel are
necessary before making valid spirituality interventions.
Options for
Using
(Clinician + Client) Spirituality Effectively
If the right conditions are met
and the timing is right, how can a clinician or other professional use
their own and the client's spiritual resources to help reach their human-
service goals? Because clinician personality and paradigm, clients, and situations are unique, specific answers
must be unique also. Options are that the clinician perceives the
client-family's spirituality is...
-
irrelevant to
presenting problems, and clinical goals and interventions, or...
-
a potential resource to them and the
work; or...
-
the client's faith and
religious practices and/or environment (e.g. church
community) seem to _ reduce client-family's nurturance level, _ promote
significant psychological wounds, and _ contribute to the client's presenting problems.
These scenarios raise different procedural and boundary questions, and
invite different interventions. Let's look at each, briefly ...
1) Client Spirituality Seems Benign (Non-toxic)
Spirituality-intervention options vary with the client type, their problems,
and the (non-marital > marital >personal) phase of the work.
Options With Courting-stepfamily
Clients
These clients typically don't know what they don't know about
psychological
and stepfamily realities
and
.
Typically, they're muting, intellectualizing, or avoiding any significant conflicts
about spirituality or religion (and other things). Exceptions are client couples from different
conservative religious denominations (e.g. fundamental Christian and
Orthodox Jewish, or Muslim and Baptist) whose extended-family or social
environment promotes mutual judgment (prejudice) and rejection.
Stepfamily research suggests
that cross-denominational unions are significantly more likely in American
re/marriages than first marriages.
With this in mind, assessment and intervention options with these
clients include ...
-
Assess for nurturing
(vs. toxic), shared couple spirituality (vs. religious
compatibility), and overtly include those among the couple's current
strengths. Doing so helps offset scary warnings of major stepfamily
conflict and re/divorce risk;
-
If one or both partners
are divorced, assess for significant inner or intra-family values
conflicts over that (like "divorce is a sin"), and how each
divorced partner is coping with any related
,
and confusion. Also ask the couple's opinion about how
co-parenting ex mates are doing with the same questions.
Seed the vision
of healing each of these intra-personal stressors, and how that will
benefit any kids involved, long-term;
-
If one partner identifies
as "spiritual" or "religious," and the other doesn't,
assess whether the couple has meaningfully considered how that values
difference will affect their co-parenting decisions and
child-visitation harmony. If "no," are they motivated to do so? Serious open
or muted conflicts here can lead into assessing and teaching the couple
about their inevitable stepfamily
and
conflicts. Intervention option: explain and facilitate
and
.
-
Assess whether _
you and _ the client-couple think that
spirituality or religion is a strength or stressor in the past and
current relationship between ex mates, and/or their extended
families. If the latter, facilitate the couple's resolving that,
vs. ignoring, minimizing, or enduring.
-
If one or both partners or
a co-parenting ex mate appears to be significantly ruled by a false self, assess for
possible worship or religious
.
If you suspect it, indicated interventions are the same as with any
other symptom of false-self dominance.
-
Alert receptive couples
to the PREPARE
(MC) and REFOCCUS
pre-re/marriage assessment services. These may
inspire the couple to do the more detailed self-improvement
proposed here. Both computer-"scored" assessments are usually
facilitated by trained clergypersons in various church
denominations.
Options for Spirituality
Interventions with the Other Four Client Types
|
Representative
Spirituality Interventions
with "Non-toxic"
Divorcing Biofamilies and Divorcing Stepfamilies |
Clinical Focus and Phase |
Marital
problems |
Inner-family
(individual) work |
|
1) If attending clients are
ambivalent about divorce (ruled by a false self), and their surface reasons for divorce
include serious spiritual or religious conflicts, see if the clients are open to
_ learning about using
effective problem-solving skills _ to reduce such
values conflicts to "tolerable." If not, seed
awareness of those.
|
yes |
yes -
focus:
|
|
2) If co-parents
seem distracted from using existing inner and outer spiritual and
religious resources (e.g. pastoral counseling, prayer, and/or church-community
support) effectively, _ identify that respectfully, and
_ encourage them to
proactively overcome the distractions. If they're psychologically
wounded, they
probably won't, and seeding the idea may still help.
|
yes |
True
naturally invites proactive use of spiritual
resources |
|
3) If one or both
co-parents seem
with or
on extended family or
church community members over religious beliefs, respectfully
confront the couple with their letting other people's beliefs, and
underlying guilt and fear of disapproval and rejection break up their marriage. Option:
give such couples copies of this, and
encourage them to apply it.
|
yes |
yes |
|
4) Pray with
and for consenting clients for guidance, resilience, and hope
|
with
receptive clients |
yes |
|
5) Use
or equivalent to facilitate
_ internal
recognition and _ balanced participation of the client's
Spiritual subself
|
seed
with
receptive clients |
yes |
|
6) In session,
acknowledge impasses and invite all present to
get mentally and
physically quiet and listen to their "still small
(spiritual) voice" for inspiration and direction. If a
positive experience, encourage clients to do that outside clinical
meetings.
|
with
receptive clients |
yes |
|
7) Strategically
use the clinician's own spirituality to illustrate, inspire, and
guide attending clients.
|
yes |
yes |
|
8) Encourage
clients to meditate, pray, and journal, as their process unfolds
|
yes |
yes |
|
9) Teach
attending clients the three levels of
help them identify their
divorce-related losses, and explore the
spiritual level of their
grieving. If clients aren't open to this now, seed this
healing task. Alert them to their children's and key relatives'
primary
need for the same three-level healing.
|
with
receptive clients |
yes, and
with other (prior) losses |
|
10) Refer
co-parents as indicated to - or network with - a competent
spiritual "coach" or pastoral counselor, and/or a
spiritually- compatible "marriage-saver" program, book,
or divorce-support group. Ideally,
and facilitators will know stepfamily basics. |
yes |
yes |
These are illustrative suggestions, not comprehensive. Every case will merit
or invite uniquely appropriate spirituality interventions like these. Recall
this site's premise that effective clinical work has long-term effects on
client families. Therefore, if full interventions like these aren't feasible
or timely now, seeding client spiritual awareness and
nurturance can still be potentially helpful, long-term.
.
If
you haven't recently, please read the brief
perspective
about these pages and the series
they belong to. This
Web page continues exploring a vital branch of clinically
assessing and intervening with the
five client types we're focused on
here: client spirituality (vs. religion), as a clinical
resource or client stressor.
The first page proposes some ...
-
key semantic definitions,
and basic perspective and premises about spirituality and
clinical spirituality interventions;
-
a core reason to
proactively include spirituality in clinical work with these complex
clients;
-
a self-assessment
inventory about
your spirituality and your workplace; and...
-
the key potential benefits of
including spirituality in the work with receptive clients,
The second page...
This article...
-
suggests spirituality-intervention options
with spiritually nurturing client families,
-
adds intervention
options with client
families whose spirituality seems toxic, and ...
- highlights some inexorable personal and ethical
questions that arise from spirituality assessments and interventions.
|
Representative
Spirituality Interventions
with
"Spiritually
nurturing"
Client Families |
Clinical Focus and Phase
|
|
Non-marital problems |
Marital problems |
Inner-family
(individual) work |
|
1) If attending clients'
presenting problems include serious spiritual or religious conflicts, see if the clients are open to
_ learning about using
effective
problem-solving skills _ to reduce such
values
conflicts to "tolerable." If not, seed
awareness of those. |
yes |
yes |
yes -
focus:
inner-family
conflicts |
|
2) If co-parents
seem distracted from acknowledging and using existing inner and outer
spiritual and
religious resources (e.g. pastoral counseling, prayer, and/or church-community
support) effectively, _ identify that respectfully, and
_ encourage them to
proactively overcome the distractions. If co-parents are
psychologically wounded, they
probably won't - and seeding the idea may still help. |
yes |
yes |
True
recovery
naturally invites proactive use of
spiritual
resources |
|
3) If one or
more co-parents seem
or
codependent
on, extended family or
church community members over religious beliefs, respectfully
confront the co-parents with their letting other people's beliefs - and
underlying guilt and
fear of disapproval and rejection -
stress their marriage and nuclear family. Option:
give such co-parents copies of
this, and
encourage them to apply it.
|
yes |
yes |
yes |
|
4) Pray with
and for consenting clients for guidance, resilience, and hope
|
yes |
yes |
yes |
|
5) Use
inner-family-systems
therapy or equivalent to facilitate _ internal
recognition and _ balanced participation of attending client's
Spiritual subselves
|
seed |
seed |
yes |
|
6) In session,
acknowledge
impasses and invite all present to get mentally and
physically quiet and listen to their "still small
(spiritual) voice" for inspiration and direction. If a
positive experience, encourage clients to do that outside clinical
meetings.
|
yes |
yes |
yes |
|
7) Strategically
use the clinician's own spirituality to illustrate, inspire, and
guide attending clients.
|
if clients
are receptive |
if clients
are receptive |
yes |
|
8) Encourage
clients to meditate, pray, and journal, as their process unfolds
|
if clients
are receptive |
if clients
are receptive |
yes |
|
9) Teach
attending clients the
three levels of
help them
identify their
prior losses (including re/marital and co-habiting losses), and
explore the
spiritual level of their grieving. If clients aren't open to this now, seed this
healing task. Alert them to their children's - and key relatives' -
need for the same three-level healing.
|
yes |
yes |
yes, and
with other (prior) losses |
|
10) Refer
co-parents as indicated to, or network with, _ a
competent nurturing spiritual "coach" or pastoral
counselor, and/or _ a spiritually-compatible
co-parent-
support group. Ideally,
counselors
and facilitators will know stepfamily
basics.
|
yes |
yes |
yes |
Again, these ideas are illustrative, not comprehensive.
2) Options if the
Client-family's Spirituality
Seems Toxic
If the clinician assumes responsibility for confronting or changing
toxic client
spiritual or religious beliefs, s/he must choose between either
(a) trying to cause a second-order (core attitude)
change
in the client's family system (within the context of the presenting
problems),
or (b) seeding such a change. I believe significantly
toxic spiritual
and religious beliefs and practices are always a sign of significant denied
psychological wounding. What do you think?
If true, this implies that educating the client on false-self dominance and
wounds, and on the
benefits of healing those, must usually (always?) precede any attempt to seed changes in
toxic spiritual beliefs and practices. Tactically, education on personality
subselves
and recovery is usually best begun in the middle (marital) phase of the
work. Most false-self dominated clients won't act on trying
to empower their true Selves (and shift spiritual beliefs and rituals) until
they solidly refocus from family and marital problems to personal healing
and growth work.
One class of interventions here has to do with the clinician's judging the
client co-parents to be significantly neglectful or abusive spiritually
with dependents. The prerequisite is the clinician _ forming a clear
opinion on what constitutes spiritual neglect and abuse, and
then _ deciding what her or his moral obligation to the clients and
society are if either of those are assessed. If the clinician is ruled by a
false self,
they're less likely to
|
Representative
Interventions
With
"Toxic-spirituality"
Client families |
Clinical Focus and Phase
|
|
Non-marital problems |
Marital problems |
Inner-family
(individual) work |
|
1) Ask
attending clients if they feel spirituality or religious factors are
increasing or reducing their (presenting) problems.
|
yes |
yes |
yes |
|
2) If
excessive guilt and/or shame from toxic spiritual or
religious rules seems a significant part of current
surface conflicts, investigate the clients' willingness to explore
and change that. If not, seed doing so as beneficial future work for
adults and kids.
|
yes |
yes |
yes
(inner-family subselves carrying old guilt and shame) |
| 3) |
|
|
|
Questions ...
Because spirituality is a profound, complex, personal, and
"irrational" subject (not subject to "logic"), making
clinical assessments and interventions about spirituality creates tough
values' and procedural questions. My premise is that clinicians,
supervisors, and program directors who have evolved clear answers to their
own personal theological and and organizational (policy) questions, will
feel more authentic, spontaneous, and serene in weaving spirituality into
their work (or not).
What "values' and procedural questions"? Some that occur to me
are ...
Q 1) The
group
that begins the prior page, for each person in the provider organization;
and ...
Q 2) What is a
"clinical spirituality intervention"? What's an effective
spirituality intervention? Who's qualified to judge that?
Q 3) Should I
(the clinician) describe my own spirituality to my clients? Should I
demonstrate it, during the work (e.g. mention God, or ask God's help, when I
think it appropriate)?
Q 4) In my role as
a hired professional, do I have the right to assess and intervene in the
spiritual aspect of my client's lives if they don't ask me to? If they do
ask me to? Do I have the authority? Where does such authority
"come from"? Who do I grant the authority to guide me on this?
Q 5) If there is
such a thing as "toxic spirituality or religion,"
_ what is it, _ what are it's symptoms, _ what is my responsibility if I perceive the symptoms in a client
family, and _ what are moral and ethical guidelines for my
intervening - specially if the client doesn't feel or acknowledge that toxic
spirituality as a problem?
Q 6) To honor my
integrity and dignity and theirs, how should I best handle major
spiritual-faith values conflicts with _ clients,
_ colleagues, and _ organizational superiors?
Q 7) When, if ever,
is it appropriate to bring up Heaven, Hell, the devil, demons,
angels, the Bible (or Koran, Torah, Sutras, or other Holy books) with
clients?
Q 8) Is there a
best way to advise typical divorced-family and stepfamily clients on how
to resolve major inter-family
values
conflicts over _
spirituality,
_ religion, and _ religious education for children?
Q 9) When, if ever,
is it appropriate to pray with clients, during the work?
Q 10) If there is
such a thing as "spiritual or religious
abuse
," _ what is it, _ what are it's
symptoms, and _ what should I do if I assess that in a client family?
Q 11) If there is
such a thing as "spiritual or religious
neglect
," _ what is it, _ what are it's symptoms, and _ what should I do if I assess that in a client family?
Q 12) If there is
such a thing as "spiritual or religious
_ what is it, _ what are it's
symptoms, and _ what should I do if I assess that in a client family? Perspective: see "When
God Becomes a Drug - Breaking the Chains of Religious Addiction and
Abuse," by Father Leo Booth.
Q 13) Is a client
ignoring or denying a benign Higher Power, or inhibiting their children's
spiritual curiosity and learning, neglectful or toxic? If so
- what should I do about that?
Q 14)
If
my client has toxic spiritual or religious beliefs, am I ethically and
morally right to use them strategically toward promoting healthy
change? For example: "It seems to me that you're letting the Devil
triumph here, by locking your stepson in his room during dinner."
Q 15) What
are the traits of a competent, qualified "spiritual
mentor and guide? According to whom? If I feel unqualified myself, who
do I feel ethically and morally right about referring spiritually-needy
clients to? What if I and my colleagues and/or organizational
superiors disagree over this?
Q 16) Where I
work, who is responsible for _ generating and _ enforcing an
organizational (clinical) policy on making spirituality assessments and
interventions? If my organization lacks a clear policy statement, should I
suggest one? On what grounds?
Q 17) Are _ atheists and
_ agnostics bad, sick, inferior,
or doomed people? Do I have any bias about this that
subliminally or obviously affects my clinical conduct?
Add your own
questions about clinical spirituality assessment and interventions... Option: Use some or all of these questions as the focus in one or several
staff in-service training sessions.
Recap
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Updated
August 12, 2015
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