 |
|
Help clients understand and break the lethal [wounds
+ unawareness] cycle |
|
 |
Introduction to Effective Assessment of
Low-nurturance Family Clients - p. 4 of 5
Assessment Factors, Projects 9 thru 12 By
Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
member NSRC Experts Council |
 The Web address of this
5-page article is
https://sfhelp.org/pro/dx/basics.htm
This continues an outline of part 1 of key assessments of a client's metasystem -
their extended family.
Assessments
for courting and committed
stepfamily clients - evaluate
the soundness, harmony, and status of the co-parents' biofamily-merger plan, if
any.
Premises:
The
formation or expansion of a multi-home
begins in courtship, and continues for years after co-parent-couple
commitment-vows and cohabiting.
Typical stepfamily-system
development
occurs while co-parents and kids try to merge, integrate, and stabilize
up to
of biofamily factors over many years usually with little or no insight
and experience;
Depending on
co-parents' (a) wholistic health (wounds), (b) grieving policies and progress,
and (c) stepfamily awareness and support, this complex, stressful multi-year
merger-process will range between well-planned and managed to chaotic
and significantly conflictual.
Three other related factors
shaping the pace and harmony of the merger process are...
-
co-parents' knowledge of communication
basics and skills, and motivation to use them as childcare
teammates, vs. opponents;
-
divorced co-parents' and their
relatives' admitting and resolving significant barriers to
cooperative childcare; and...
-
family adults intentionally evolving strategies to avoid or resolve inevitable
concurrent conflicts over (a)
stepfamily membership, values, and loyalties; and (b) associated relationship triangles.
From these and
related premises, this clinical
model suggests assessing these Project-9 factors over time, in the
order shown...
The
nature and degree of an co-parent psychological wounds and any related
denials (A Lesson-1 assessment);
and...
All client co-parents' knowledge of
effective grieving and communication basics and skills, and (b) their
motivation to use these cooperatively in resolving merger-related
dilemmas and disputes; (Lesson 2 and
5 assessments); and...
Whether (a) all client co-parents genuinely
accept their stepfamily
and what it
and (b) if not, how receptive they are to appropriate
Lesson 7 and
Project-4 interventions now - (unreceptive > ambivalent / mixed >
very receptive). And assess...
The
scope and accuracy of client co-parents' knowledge of stepfamily
norms and
realities, including the five
(low > moderate > high). And...
Client adults' understanding of the specific
merger-related needs of each
minor and grown stepchild; and...
Assess...
-
the scope and degree of any significant
between divorced co-parents, and...
-
all co-parents' strategies -
if any - to reduce these barriers effectively.
This and the prior
assessment are important input to Lesson 7 interventions. Option - use this
divorce-recovery worksheet to assess for any significant unfinished
issues between ex mates and their kids and relatives. And then assess...
Co-parents' knowledge of the
of biofamily "things"
their family members must merge and
stabilize together over time, and (b) whether they have a consensual, viable, plan to merge them
over time. If not, (c) assess their receptivity to evolving a
thoughtful, viable plan and implementing it as nurturing teammates
(unreceptive > ambivalent / mixed > very receptive); and assess...
any other factor relevant to this
client-family's merging their related extended biofamilies.
Selected
Project-9 Resources
Interventions related to these
stepfamily-merger variables;
This slide presentation on
stepfamily basics
The Project-9
overview and article-index;
These articles on typical
stepfamily merger considerations and
planning; and three common stepfamily-development
paths;
This overview
of three common
stepfamily-merger stressors, and links to how to manage them
effectively;
The
guidebook for Projects
9-12,
Build a High-nurturance Stepfamily (Xlibris.com, 2003)
<< main
assessment index / project assessment index
>>
Assessments
(for all families with one or more
minor kids) - evaluate client adults and supporters for their (a) ability
and (b) motivation to evolve an effective co-parenting team and a
high-nurturance family together over time.
Premises:
The nurturance-level
of any family is directly proportional to the
+
+
+ cooperation
of all adult members and key
supporters.
Typical
low-nurturance family adults - specially
families and
stepfamilies - are unaware of or ignore significant deficits in some or
all of these factors.
Our current wounded,
decaying society denies and ignores, condones, and promotes
this unawareness in national and regional family-law statutes and
superficial human-service certification standards.
Though
healthy bioparents
and related caregivers want to nurture dependent kids
effectively, most don't know...
|
Once they're (a) aware and (b) committed to genuine personal
wound-recovery (Lesson 1), many co-parents can
significantly raise their family's nurturance level over
time, and intentionally reduce the toxic effects of the
inherited [wounds + unawareness]
on future generations.
And... |
Typical
family-health and family-law
educators, legislators, and professionals are...
That's why this Web site and clinical series exist.
Pause, breathe, and reflect - how do you feel about each of these premises
now?
Basic Lesson 7
Assessments
From
these and related premises, this clinical
model suggests these assessments in the order shown:
How wounded is each family adult
(minorly > moderately > majorly), and if wound-recovery is needed, are they
committed to it yet? (a Lesson-1 assessment);
Each family adult's current attitudes
about key topics, including personal and family
spirituality; and assess...
their current knowledge of...
-
effective thinking,
communication, and problem-solving, including (a) the
difference between surface and primary
and (b) how to effectively manage
and
(inclusion) conflicts and associated relationship
(a
Lesson 2 assessment);
-
bonds, losses, and effective
(healthy) three-level
grieving (a
Lesson-3 assessment);
-
(a) the typical
traits of a high-nurturance
family, and (b) the four or five concurrent
that can significantly reduce the nurturance-level in their
family, and stress their descendents; and...
-
the common
developmental and
family-adjustment needs of
typical minor kids; and...
-
principles of
effective co-parenting,
including effective child
discipline; and...
-
(a) when and how to access appropriate
family supports, and
(b) the effectiveness of current family
. And over time,
evaluate
Client adults' main personal
as judged by recent
actions, not words - i.e. how does
maintaining a high family nurturance-level rank with each adult
in calm and stressful times? And assess...
Whether the client adults (a) agree on a clear, long-term purpose for
their family, and if so, (b) whether they have a meaningful family
vision or
yet. If so,
(c) are they living by it? (Project 6 assessments). And
learn...
Whether family couples are denying,
discounting, or ignoring any
significant primary family problems
(a common sign of psychological wounds); and evaluate...
(a) the client family's current
structure in calm times and crises, and
(b) adults' awareness
of it and (c) how to discuss and use it together productively. And...
if the client family is a courting, committed, or
re/divorcing stepfamily,
assess what
results accrue from Lesson 7,
4, and 9 assessments.
And assess...
other client-family
factors significantly affecting
their recent nurturance-level.
Selected
Lesson 7 Resources
Interventions related to these
co-parenting-teamwork variables;
These slide presentations on
stepfamily basics and the
hazards and 12 Projects;
This proposed set of family
nurturance-level variables;
The Lesson 7
overview and article-index;
These articles summarizing typical
minor kids' developmental and
family-adjustment needs;
The
guidebook for Lesson 7,
Build a Co-parenting Team after Divorce and Re/marriage (Xlibris.com, 2002)
<< main
assessment index /
project assessment index >>
Assessments
for all clients, specially typical
divorcing families and stepfamilies - evaluate...
-
client-adults' attitude about (a) seeking
and (b) accepting family supports (disinterest > ambivalence >
significant
interest);
-
the personal and family supports
needed now, and...
-
the effectiveness of any current supports on maintaining or improving the family's nurturance level.
Premises:
All infants, kids,
and adults need various types of spiritual, lay, and professional
support during significant personal and family changes (e.g. childbirth,
moving, adolescence, separation, divorce, leaving home, remarriage, illness,
retirement, death,
etc.) and
"Support" can include
mixes of...
|
genuine love, friendship, and
forgiveness
compassion' companionship, and
patience
venting, empathic listening, and
crying
healthy
touching
non-interference and solitudes
physical and financial resources
some medications
healthy diet, exercise, and sleep
prayer and spiritual counsel |
familiar rituals and settings
realistic encouragement and
affirmations
respectful feedback
caring confrontations
relevant information
appropriate group
interaction
appropriate protections and
referrals
skilled coaching, counseling,
and therapy
other situational comforts |
For our purposes,
support can occur on
four levels: personal, marital, nuclear family, and
extended family.
A family's nurturance
level is proportional to its adults' abilities to seek, evaluate, and
accept appropriate supports as the family evolves (adapts to changes).
Significantly-wounded
people (Grown Wounded Children, or
often...
-
are used to being excessively
self-reliant, and often
themselves by not attening some primary needs, and/or not asking for appropriate supports; or...
-
they don't use offered supports, or use
them with excessive
or they may...
-
avoid personal responsibility (i.e. fear
and shame), assume a
role, over-rely on others to fill their needs, and deny, whine, or
justify this, or claim "I can't help it."
Most current
professional family support programs and services aren't aware of the
[wounds + unawareness]
causing many family stressors, so the help they offer may be
short-term and/or partial at best - except in personal and environmental
emergencies.
Any family adult can
learn to be aware of their personal and family "support policies"
(if, when, and how to seek and evaluate supports). Clinicians and other
helpers can strategically encourage this via Lesson-11 assessments and
interventions.
Pause
and reflect - how do these premises compare with your beliefs about
personal and family supports?
Basic
Lesson-11 Assessments
Based
on these and related premises, this model suggests assessing any client for
support-factors like these:
-
How
is each family adult? (a Lesson-1
assessment): minimally > moderately > seriously;
Why? The more wounded an adult is, (a) the less likely s/he will
ask for or accept appropriate personal or family support, and (b) the
less likely s/he is to change that attitude without hitting true
-
What is each family adult's current
attitude about if, how,
and when to seek help with personal and family problems (unmet needs)?
(appropriate / healthy > mixed / varied > inappropriate / unhealthy).
Are they open to relevant referrals?
-
If the family is currently being supported
by friends and/or relatives,
(a) why, (b) who initiated the support, and (c) how is the support
affecting the family's stability and nurturance level? (significantly
helpful > mixed > significantly stressful).
Common family problems meriting special
lay and professional support include:
|
pregnancy / childbirth
single parenting
co-parenting
abuse or child neglect
child adoption
school problems
adolescence |
trauma recovery
grieving major losses
spiritual growth
addiction management
impulse control
special-needs person/s
elder care |
diet / weight control
financial problems
legal problems
illness or disability
unemployment
natural disasters
local crime |
-
If the family is being supported by one or
more
groups or organizations now,
(a) who initiated the support?, (b) why?, and (c) what's the
nurturance
level of the supporting group? (high > moderate / unclear > low).
See this for more perspective on assessing support subsystems.
Finally,
-
Option - use this
support-inventory to help you
and the clients assess their current degree of four levels of support;
-
Assess how motivated client adults are to
study, discuss, and include some version of
in their current family activities and goals now.
Selected
Lesson-11 Resources
Interventions related to
support-assessment findings;
These materials on high-nurturance
groups and
religions, and
common
traits of members of
high-nurturance groups;
This series on
effective support groups;
These selected
inspirations;
These
experience-based articles on solving
common stepfamily stressors, selecting stepfamily
counsel, and evaluating stepfamily
advice and
reference materials; and...
The
guidebook for Projects
1-7,
Stepfamily Courtship (Xlibris.com, 2002)
<< main
assessment index /
project assessment index >>
Assessments
for all clients, specially
stepfamilies - evaluate...
-
up to four levels of systemic balance,
and...
-
the degree of enjoyment and satisfaction
co-parents are experiencing from developing their family system over
time.
For perspective, read this
overview of , and this
article on four kinds of balance.
Premises:
Human and other
systems automatically seek to maintain balance (equilibrium), as they
and their environments constantly change.
Systems of
personality subselves and family members range from
chronically and/or currently stable and balanced to chaotic, unbalanced, and stressed.
Family adults who are
by their
can (a) develop their awareness and valuing of personal + marital + home
+ nuclear-family balances, and (b) proactively reduce any significant
unbalances and related stresses as teammates.
Effective clinicians, supervisors, and case and program managers, will want to
(a) maintain similar awareness of the balance-levels of each client's
and (b) proactively reduce any significant unbalances and
related stresses.
Adults managing any kind of family can find that responsibility burdensome
to ho-hum to steadily enjoyable and deeply satisfying. With their true
Selves in charge, a clear mission statement and family role definitions,
and effective communication skills,
any wholistically-healthy adults can
learn to...
-
increase their family's
nurturance-level, and personal enjoyment, and pride, and to...
-
reduce or block the lethal [wounds +
unawareness]
from burdening their descendents and spreading in their society.
Pause
and reflect - how do these premises compare with your beliefs about
personal and family supports?
Basic
Lesson-12 Assessments
Based
on these and related premises, this model suggests assessing any client for
factors like these:
-
Who
usually controls each client-adult's personality - their
true Self or other subselves (a
false self)? (This is a Lesson-1
assessment.) Why? Families whose adults are guided by their true
Selves are most apt to want to maintain the four levels of
balance;
-
How does each client adult define "being
balanced"?
-
How does each client adult rank the
importance of maintaining...
-
daily personal (inner-family) balance
-
primary-relationship balance (if
appropriate);
-
household balance, and ...
-
nuclear or extended-family balance?
-
If each client adult has a strategy to
maintain each of these four levels of balance, (a) what is it, and (b)
how effective has it been recently, judged by the clients and the
clinician/s?
-
If client adults feel something hinders them
and other family members from maintaining stable balance on any level
(a) why, and (b) how have they reacted to this?
Selected
Lesson-12 Resources
Interventions related to these
stepfamily-assessment variables;
These slide presentations on
stepfamily basics and the
hazards and 12 Projects;
The Lesson-12
overview and article-index;
The
guidebook for Projects
1-7,
Stepfamily Courtship (Xlibris.com, 2002)
<< main
assessment index /
project assessment index >>
+ + +
Recall: We're reviewing who, what, and how to assess the six types of
low-nurturance clients served by this clinical model. We've covered 2 1/2 of
five major groups of assessment factors so far...
1) themselves (for clinical
requisites);
2) who
comprises the client's family system?, and
assess...
3) the
current clinical metasystem,
part 1: the client's extended family system.
Let's continue with...
<<
Prior page /
Add to favorites
/
Print page
/
Professional index
/
Email this article's address
>>
site intro / course outline / site search / definitions / chat / contact
Created
September 30, 2015
|