This article is one of a series on effective clinical
interventions
with
of divorcing-family and stepfamily clients. It is based on 26 years' study and live clinical experience with hundreds
of typical marital and family clients. The article assumes you
are familiar with all five elements of this
A basic premise here is that most (all?) clients are unaware that
the problems they seek clinical help to resolve are symptoms
of these 11 common interactive
primary problems. The assessment
portion of the clinical model proposes effective ways to (a) diagnose which
of these core problems are unbalancing the family system, and (b) how to prioritize them.
The other intervention articles suggest effective ways of
reducing or resolving each of the common primary problems.
This article provides a tool for clinicians, supervisors, and
consultants to help (a) plan treatment strategies and (b) measure progress
in the work with a given client family. Links connect to
background on the primary problems and/or to outlines and examples of, each
intervention. Depending on the type of client, interventions range
from group to couple to individual; and from didactic-education to
intrapsychic-change strategies.
Educational (Teaching) Interventions
General Educational
Interventions
Options: "X" each intervention that isn't relevant to this
client family, asterisk each one you feel has been attempted well
enough, and check each one that has been "successful."
Hilights below indicate high-priority interventions with most client
families.
__ 1) why and __
how to differentiate current
surface (secondary) needs from
and
__ explore how this relates to the client's presenting (surface)
"problems."
__ 2) why and
__ how to assess
the client-family's
nurturance level
__ 3) how low childhood
nurturance promotes fragmented, disorganized
and
__ 4) the
[wounds + ignorance]
cycle, and __ its
recent
effects on the client
family.
__ 5) why and __ how and to
for
client-adult psychological wounds; and __ overview
goals and common
benefits
__ 6) effective-communication
and __ problem-solving basics, and common communication
__ blocks and __
tips
__ 7) Typical
__ healthy-marriage
requisites, and __ how to
and
typical primary-relationship
problems (unfilled
needs)
__ 8) typical
minor kids'
developmental and
family-adjustment needs,
and __ how to assess kids'
status with these
__
9)
effective child-nurturance
(co-parenting) requisites and goals
__ 10) identify each
client-adult's recent demonstrated (vs. desired) life
priorities. Then __ educate the adults on how this relates to
their presenting and primary problems - e.g. show that couple's
marital "problems" may stem partly from one or both partners not
really making their primary relationship a steady high
priority. Option: __ illustrate how adults'
demonstrated priorities reflect which subselves usually control
their personality.
__ 11) As appropriate:
educate client-adults on
(bonding),
(broken bonds), healthy three-level
and
family
__ why and
for blocked
grief and __ options for
and __ how these relate
to the client's presenting and primary problems (if they do).
Educate
Divorcing-family
Adults and Supporters
Add these educational interventions to those above as
appropriate to where a client family is on this three-phase
__ 12) Teach (a)
the many
meanings of divorce, (b) the three multi-year
phases
of a typical divorce, and (c) probable
impacts of divorce on
all client-family adults and kids.
__ 13) Teach how psychological
wounds and ignorance (#4 above) can promote
making up to three unwise
which can (a) inhibit filling one or both partner's needs (#
7 above) and (b) promote eventual psychological or legal divorce.
Restated - empathically educate divorcing adults on how to
assess whether they were never really suited to be long-term
committed partners, so odds of reconciling successfully are low to
zero.
__ 14) Teach (a)
the difference between changes
and
(broken emotional bonds), and (b) how to help each their family
members manage each of these effectively as they adjust to
divorce-reorganization. See # 11 above. Options:
-
teach client adults how to inventory
their losses, to help them grieve successfully; and/or...
-
teach and illustrate adults the
concept of a
and...
-
encourage client adults and
supporters to see the divorcing nuclear-family system as living
in two inter-related homes, rather than in two independent "new"
families.
__ 15) Teach
(a) the value of ex-mates
maintaining a long-term view as the family's multi-year
divorce-adjustment proceeds (e.g. 20 to 30 years), and (b) propose the concept of a
"successful" divorce or
re/divorce. Then (c) Invite client adults to evolve their own
definition/s of this to fit their circumstances..
__ 16) Teach
divorcing adults to
their usual communication attempts to resolve disputes - as partners
- to illuminate blocks that have prevented effective problem
solving. Prerequisite: # 6 above.
__ 17) If
the client family includes minor or grown children and/or
grandchildren, teach client adults kids' typical (a) developmental
and (b) divorce-adjustment tasks, and (c)
how to assess each child's
status on filling these needs. Option - review effective
caregiving basics
