Lesson 4 of 8  - choose and grow nourishing relationships

LESSON-4 LINKS

Evolve nourishing relationships

By Peter Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

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The Web address of this page is http://sfhelp.org/relate/links4.htm

        This is a link index to all Web site materials in Lesson 4 - choose and evolve healthy, high-nurtur-ance relationships - including marriage. These articles assume you've made significant progress on self-study Lessons 1 thru 3.

        Topics:

1)  Relationship Basics

Preview - the lethal [wounds + ignorance] cycle (Lesson 5)

4-1)  A quiz on relationship basics - how much do you know?

4-2)  Perspective on needs - the roots of human behavior

4-3)   Dr. Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" 

4-4)  Healthy-relationship factors - do you have enough of them?

4-5)  Q&A about relationships. Note - see the Lesson-7 index for Q&A on stepfamily relationships.

4-6)  How attitudes shape your relationships - an inventory.

4-7)  A sample Bill of Personal Rights. Do you know your rights as a dignified person?

4-8)  Options for improving relationships with co-workers and superiors

Review - How gender affects communication (and relationships)  (Lesson 2)

Preview - what's unique about family relationships? (Lesson 5)

2)  Resolve Common Relationship Problems

Review - Options for increasing self-confidence (Lesson 1)

Review: - options for improving communication effectiveness  (Lesson 2)

Review - options for responding well to common problem behaviors. (Lesson 2)

4-9)  Options for analyzing relationship problems

4-10)  Options for solving relationship problems

4-11)  Overview of nine common barriers to satisfying relationships

4-12)  Options for dealing with psychologically-wounded people

4-13)  Options for improving self and mutual respect

4-14)  Options for improving honesty - make it safe to tell the truth

4-15)  Options for improving self and mutual trust

4-16)  How to benefit from anger and frustration

4-17)  Options for managing significant resentments

4-18)  Options for reducing shyness

4-19) - Options for managing hostility - (2 pages)

4-20) Options for responding to intimidation - (2 pages)

4-21)  Options for resolving boundary problems

Preview - About addiction, recovery, and personality subselves (Lesson 5)

Review: Options for reducing codependence (relationship addiction) (Lesson 1)

4-22)  An illustration of concurrent values and loyalty conflicts, and relationship triangles

4-23)  How to resolve values conflicts, impasses, and relationship "cutoffs"

4-24)  Worksheet: How we resolve values conflicts now

Preview - How to resolve family loyalty conflicts (Lesson 5)

4-25)  Spot and resolve Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer relationship triangles 

4-26)  Q&A about disputes over money

4-27)  A menu of solutions to common relationship problems

3)  Primary Relationships

        One reason for this Web site's existence is to combat the U.S. divorce epidemic. The links here are grouped by Marriage basics, Courtship, and Solving marital problems. Related resources for re/marriages are part of Lesson 7,

A) Basics

Review - What it means to be a Grown Wounded Child (GWC)  (Lesson 1)

4-28)  Five marital hazards caused by the [wounds + unawareness] cycle

4-29)  Keys to a satisfying marriage

Reprint: “Respect – the Heart of Every Successful Marriage,” by Annie Gottlieb

4-30)  Q&A about primary relationships

Preview - perspective on cohabiting (Lesson 7)

4-31)  Q&A about divorce, redivorce, and divorce recovery

4-32)  Perspective on the silent American divorce epidemic

4-33)  16 Alternatives to divorce

4-34)  Worksheet - symptoms of an unfinished divorce

Review - these recent news items on marriage and divorce.  

B) Courtship Articles and Worksheets

        Divorce starts by making unwise courtship decisions.

4-35)  Q&A about choosing a mate

4-36)  Worksheet - common courtship danger signs for childless couples

4-37)  Worksheet - Am I committing to the right people?

4-38)  Worksheet - When is the right time to commit?

4-39)  Worksheet - Are we committing for the right reasons?

4-40)  Worksheet - Our primary-relationship's strengths and growth areas (2 pages)

C) Solutions to Common Marital Problems

        These articles build on the "relationship problems" articles above.

Review - "Avoiding Couple Karate - Lessons in the Marital Arts," by Anthony Brandt

4-41)  Worksheet: ranking our recent priorities 

4-42)  Options for improving marital intimacy

4-43)  Options for resolving marital love dissatisfactions

4-44)  Perspective on same-gender partnerships

4-45)  Options for reducing marital loyalty conflicts

4-46)  The real cause of "we don't have enough time together"

4-47)  Perspective on marital affairs

4-48)  Options for reducing marital stress from prejudices

D)  Ex-mate Relationships

4-49)  Basic perspective on ex-mate relations

4-50)  Key Q & A about improving ex-mate relations

4-51)  Confront harmful sexual attraction between ex mates.

4-52)  Links to articles about resolving common ex-mate / co-parenting problems

Review  Avoid or resolve legal battles between ex mates - (2 pages)

Review - Options for family-stabilizing after an ex-mate remarries.

4)  Adult - Child Relationships

        Relating well to typical minor kids depends on understanding their age-related developmental and special needs and limitations. No matter what their age or circumstances, kids need what all adults need - reliable nur-turance - i.e. respect, security, nutrition, stimulation, patience, listening, rest, protection, and help learning from their mistakes. 

        See Lesson 6  (effective parenting) for useful articles, and Lesson 7 for articles on stepparent-stepchild and stepsibling relationships. 

Review - Guidelines for effective communication with kids (Lesson 2)

Preview - Normal developmental tasks for minor kids (Lesson 6)

Preview - Dr. Erik Erikson's 8 stages of human development  (Lesson 6)

Preview - A memo from your child  (Lesson 6)

Preview - Nurturing psychologically-wounded kids (Lesson 6)

Review - Selected research articles on kids

 Recap

        This is a link-index to Lesson-4 resources about relationships in this educational Web site. The re-sources build on Lessons 1 thru 3, and are grouped as:

  • Relationship basics,

  • Common relationship problems,

  • Primary-relationships (basics / dating / problem-solving / ex mates), and...

  • Adult-child relationships.

        Self-study Lesson 4 guides you through using the articles summarized here toward better answer-ing this quiz about relationships. Use these Lesson 1-4 concepts and tools to master Lessons 5 thru 8 in this online self-study Break the Cycle! course.

         Pause, breathe, and reflect - why did you read this article? Did you get what you needed? If not, what do you need? Who's answering these questions - your true Self, or ''someone else''?

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Updated August 30, 2010